The Stupid Girl’s Guide to Getting Over an Ex: An Easy 4 Year, 173 Step Process PART 1

My friend Olu posted this poem about me on his blog called “The Moral of the Story is…” . It’s acutely painful. Why? Because it’s entirely accurate. A lot of facts with a little bit of fiction thrown in. I’ll let you decide which is which. But for anyone who has ever asked me how I can manage to juggle 3 or 4 men at a time and not feel at all guilty about it, here’s why.

Yes, I have been known at certain times in my life as a sort of “man-eater”. Yes, I have been known to have a few men in my life at a time that serve different purposes, and yes I have been bold enough to tell them all about each other. Of all the men I’ve dated have any of them ever walked when I gave them the option to get out? No. So, do I feel bad when I “forget” to call someone back or when I cancel plans with #3 to spend time with #5 because I prefer his company? Absolutely not. Why? Because we are all adults and I gave you your option. It’s an open door. You may exit at any time you wish. Just keep in mind this open door is also a revolving one and that your space will be filled pretty quickly. Please don’t get upset. Please no letters, phone calls, emails, instant messages, or texts. You have resigned from your position and you have been replaced.

I’ve never felt bad about leaving because I have always been left. That’s all folks.

Get over it.

Now there are many people who have been fired. I live by the pink slip. It is by far the most powerful piece of paper in the world. I’ve issued so many pink slips it’s a wonder my fingers aren’t perpetually salmon. And I’m not sorry for that. Not a bit. Because I am nothing if not decisive and very clear about when I am ready to cut you out of my life.

Except for once that is. Which is what Olu’s poem is about. He’s a genius that boy. I couldn’t have put it any better if I possessed his lyrical prowess myself.

So, it all comes back to the age old question, “La why are you so focused?” Because focusing on what is coming ahead means you don’t have to look back at the people you’ve left standing confused and means you don’t have to risk getting attached to someone who you might not be able to let go of until they kill you from the inside.

Sounds like a pink slip that should have been sent a long time ago.

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