Sorry for the delay in posts loyal readers. But I’m homeless and it significantly impairs the amount of time I can spend on the internet blogging since, you know… I don’t have anywhere to live. Which, surprisingly enough, is the least of my problems.
During the last 2 weeks I’ve been doing a lot of work on campus with the radio station for the freshmen. I have really enjoyed all the events this week but it’s been bittersweet really. It’s made me really miss my freshman year.
See, I had the freshman year that movies are made of. I had the PERFECT freshmen year. And with the exception of a few additions and some minor subtractions, I still have the same friends that I had 4 years ago. And I’m really quite proud of that. I love these people. They’ve been like family to me at times when my own family wasn’t. They have tolerated me, they have loved me, hated me , supported me, taken care of me, and had so much fun with me over the last few years. There were our late night games of hide and seek and talking on the yard. There was our table in the cafe that we met at religiously every nite between 6 and 6:30 all freshman year. There were the fun times on the penthouse level in Drew, the blizzard freshman year, our first Howard vs. Hampton game, our first Homecoming and trip to 2K9, all of our trips to the movies. And though things have been pretty difficult at times and the dynamics of many relationships have changed, we’re still together. And that’s important to me. The idea that maybe, I have found the permanent family unit I’ve always wanted makes me smile on the inside. I treasure these people and our time together. I always will.
I imagine myself looking around on graduation day in May and I don’t know how well I’m going to do with it. There are so many things I want to say to each of these people, so many ways I want to try to tell them how much they mean to me and how important they are to me. I don’t know how I will do it, how I’ll quite get it out. I imagine standing back and looking around at my family of 12 and wondering how I will ever find a group of people so wonderful, so diverse, that I am so in love with. I imagine contemplating how I would ever replace them were I to ever lose them, still struggling with the idea that that day might very well be the last time I see a few of them. I imagine it hurting acutely, but me still being very aware of the fact that it’s necessary. But still, those days, as we watched the leaves turn orange, brown then green again, we all built a deep, valuable and everlasting bond that I will forever treasure no matter where I end up and who comes into my life.
I remember who we all were my freshman year and I miss us. Not because I don’t want us to change, but because I remember how happy we all were then, and that feeling that resonated throughout that time together is how I hope they continue on in the rest of their lives.