Ahh graduation. That time of year when your head is wound so tight that it seem as though it might LITERALLY explode, your patience is impossibly short, you’re arguing for grades that you know you deserve and you’ve fought with at LEAST 6 professors.
And VERY loudly.
Just me huh?
Sigh. Shit really shouldn’t be this hard. I’m not a bad student. Until I became so disgusted with my department that just the sight of the building makes me queasy, I attended class at reasonable intervals. And I definitely do my work. I stay out of people’s way, try not to be that one student in class that you know as a professor that you will have an issue out of. I think I’m fairly easy to get along with. If I get an F that I deserve (which I have done in my college career) I take it without a fight, try to maintain some type of dignity if that’s possible when you fail and keep it moving because, well, I deserved it. But what I don’t understand is this: what is it about the phrase “I’m a graduating senior” that suddenly turns every professor into an asshole with nothing better to do than hold the control they have over your graduation over your head?
I don’t do well with people exploiting their power just because they feel they can and it makes them feel big or important. I especially have an issue with it when it has to deal with something I’ve worked my ass off for. Does threatening my graduation status make you feel as though you have somehow gained back a little bit of control that you’ve lost to your students, your faculty, the administration? That’s fine. However please understand that this is going to cause me to do everything in my power to make you realize that you are not big or important. My track record is great. I’ve not lost a battle yet. So it’s best that you keep your powertrips isolated to students with not quite so much fight in them.
What is that you say? I have an attitude problem? Why yes sir you’re right, I have both an attitude and a problem. An attitude because you’re fucking with me and I’m tired of being fucking nice to fucking assholes because it is the “adult” or fucking “politically correct” thing to fucking do in this situation. I have a problem becuase YOU ARE FUCKING ME ME UNFUCKINGNECCESSARILY. I liked me much better my freshmen year when I cursed first and then cursed more later because goddammit I got RESULTS. And now all of a sudden I try this nice, adult shit everyone keeps telling me I should adopt and what do I get? YOU fucking with ME.
I’ve never heard of anyone, not ONE person in history that got anywhere by being NICE, by being “adult” or politically correct or sweet about things. No one. NONE. And if there is someone that reached great heights by being all sweet and soft spoken rather than kicking down doors and kicking in windows if necessary, I GUARANTEE you they didn’t go to Howard.
So no more nice. Let us revert if we will. I will go back to the ghetto, fast talking, potty mouthed, scathing girl from Atlanta I was freshman year, even if only temporarily, and I hope for the sake of your feelings that my sister is somewhere in the natural vicinity to calm me down before I make you cry. You will turn into the helpful, patient, kind professor you presented yourself as being at the start of the semester and you WILL stop fucking with me. Also, I will graduate. If for no other reason than when I leave your office you will be scared to have me in your class for another year.
To the Howard University administration, I am over your power trips. It is not my fault that you didn’t finish school. But I WILL. And the experience will be that much better if I can make a few grown ass people cry along the way.
So please, PLEASE give me a reason to be the ghetto ass girl from Decatur that I was when I got to Howard. I’m dying for it, itching to hurt someone’s feelings. Because maybe the next time you decide to fuck with a student that seems like an easy target because she has tried to be reasonable and “adult” with you, you will think of me and think better of your decision. Get a fucking hobby.