Disrespect drives me crazy. To absolutely no end. I recognize that many of the things I find utterly disrespectful, other people simply shrug off. And that’s fine.
But let me tell you what isn’t…
Disrespecting someone you claim to love, no matter how minor.
I’m one of those people that if I’m with you, I’m WITH you. At the risk of this post coming at you in high definition ghetto, I am the quintessiental ride or die chick. You’ll never find anyone more loyal than me. Point blank period. Maybe this is why so many have described me as “wifey material” so often that when I meet friends of friends they go, “oh YOU’RE the one.”
Yes. More often than not, I am THE ONE.
I recognize that the things people find disrespectful will vary. Case and point, I’m kinda involved with someone now. Lets call him Psuedo. (By the way Psuedo is short for PsuedoBoyfriendTypeIndividual and was the subject of Parts 1-7.) Me and Psuedo hardly ever fight, but when we do its crazy. He’s crazy, I’m crazy, he threatens to shake me like a yoohoo, I say mean and hurtful things. However, one thing that even sporadic fighting with Psuedo has taught me is to respect other peoples boundaries. When I fight, I can be mean, downright cruel actually. However, some of the things he finds infinitely disrespectful, I’d never think twice about. But I’ve learned (the hard way) that it generally doesn’t matter whether or not I agree. It’s about respect for him and how he feels about a situation, how he feels about me.
So anyway, I digress.
There are things, as a woman, I’d never do to anyone, let alone my man. There are things that, if a man did them to me, I’d beat his ass in the streets and leave him lying there for his boys to see. (See the high definition ghetto?) Because I will not be disrespected. Under any circumstances.
This weekend, I witnessed some shit that was SO FUCKIN DISRESPECTFUL it made my skin crawl. And it wasn’t even directed at me. Didn’t even really affect me. As a matter of fact, if I was a differnt kinda woman, I woulda been kinda proud. But I wasn’t. I found it kinda sickening. All from a man I’ve grown to admire and respect. I saw behavior that, if it were done to me… well see above description of beating him down.
But on to the real topic of this post. And the real reason I’ve finally mentioned Psuedo after so much time. Have you ever had one man in your life do something so mean and dirty that it completely changed your views of another man in your life? I try never to compare people, but there are times when the similarities, and in this case, the vast differences, are glaringly obvious and you must comment. I was talking to Yoj about this situation this weekend, and the more I talked to her the more I realized some things I never realized. (More of that to come in the post about my ah ha moment back during homecoming.) I’ve never had a man so effortlessly drive me into someone else’s arms.
And without even knowing it.