I realized at work today that it was almost Christmas and I hadn’t written my annual “Booooo Hissssss Christmas” post. I tried as long as I could to keep my irritation with this tacky, gaudy holiday in check but everyday my irritation has grown. It started with the house on the corner. Every time I come home from working retail during the worst possible time of the year, there are new lights SOMEWHERE on this house. First it was the multicolored candy cane lights lining the driveway. Then, the string of white lights that look like they were just thrown at the one bare, sad ass tree in the yard. Then came the snowman. Then Santa. As the days went on, more tackiness seemed to just appear from nowhere. Now, it just looks like the whole damn house is on fire. And then there’s the customers at my job. Somehow I’ve gotten to be the person at work who everyone defers the evil customers to. So I’ve been cussed out AT LEAST 1,385 times. Isn’t this goddamn season supposed to be what brings out the best in people?
Not so much.
Maybe if I wasn’t isolated from the majority of my family it wouldn’t suck so much. Probably not true though.
Sitting in Waffle House tonight, I was struck by how much my life has changed in the last year. I’ll get into the specifics in a later post, but it’s just funny. So much so that I burst out laughing in the middle of eating. Everyone looked at me like I was nuts. It happens.
I know Christmas won’t suck forever. Maybe I’ve never really had a good Christmas but it won’t always be this way. I know it’ll be up to me to make Christmas a happy and joyous time of year for my own family when I start one.
But I don’t have a family.
So until then, excuse me while I try to figure out how to assassinate a mechanical reindeer without getting caught.