Simon Cowell is My American Idol

“Well now you can dedicate your life to your other talents. The good news is that today you discovered singing will NOT be it.”

This came outta Simon’s mouth exactly 3.78 minutes into the newest season and I fell over onto the floor laughing. Which is where I stayed for the rest of the show.

Are these fuckin people serious? Bless God for Simon Cowell.

Bless. Him.

I haven’t watched AI since Fantasia won, but now I remember why freshman year at Howard the entire campus would be gathered around a TV to howl in laughter at these idiots with no friends.

Really. Cuz if my singing voice sounded like a bag of cats being slung at a wall, my friends wouldn’t let me go on national TV.

Which number to press to vote for Simon?

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