10 Questions (AKA this Boy Thinks he’s Special)

So K.B. read some of my answers to questions yall posed in your interviews and thought he should come up with some of his own. He says he gets 10 though… because I’ve been mean to him since I met him.

If that wasn’t true, he’d totally get 5 like everybody else, lol. Here goes…

1. If you could plot the evolution of your relationship with the mexican musically what would the songs be?

Oooooh wow why is that such a good question? I dunno. I’m gonna have to do some ipod research. I’ll get back to you.

2. What’s the countriest thing you eat?

Lol! Let’s see… its probably I tie between pork rinds and okra. I know, I know, SOOO country. But soooo good. In both cases, my grandma got me to eating both foods. I can eat both allllll day and be perfectly happy.

3. What would your ideal movie role be?

I’d like to play a serial killer actually. And I don’t mean like the whole Charlize Theron in Monster kinda serial killer, I mean a completely, totally left of crazy, psychopath. Why? Because those kinds of roles are generally left to men. Even know that there are women playing roles traditionally left to guys i.e. cops, more often than not the character is so sexed up that it loses any and all authenticity. I’d like to have the opportunity to play something along the lines of a female Hannibal Lector; someone so off, so creepy and scary that there’s no way the character could be sexualized and would become somewhat of a touchstone for all future crazies to be based upon. Mostly, I’m really attracted to being able to play the types of characters generally relegated to males. I’d really like to play a female gangster too, like a Scarface in a skirt, lol. I’d just mostly like to do something that broadens the scope of women either being the sexy love interest or the intellectual but completely asexual sidekick/eventual damsel in distress with no shades of gray in between.
4. Why do you like tattoos and piercings so much?

In an interview a couple years ago, Angelina Jolie said something that I think completely sums it up; “As actors, we spend our lives living in other skin that is not our own. Tattoos are an external way of marking your skin for you, a sign that you were, in fact, present even when others flowed so freely though you.” That hit it right on the head for me. I’ve removed all my piercings (except my ears) but to this very day I love all my tattoos. They all represent different periods in my life, different messages that I needed to get to myself and wished to carry with me forever. Each of my 4 tattoos is special and has its own meaning. I considered each of them very carefully and they all have their own story. Take for instance the tattoos on my wrists. On my right, is a symbol for war, on my left a symbol for peace. The inspiration for them came from a poem I read I in high school that said, “the essence of life is the journey to find balance between war and peace in ones soul. When the scale tips too far in either favor, is when the journey ends; either a warrior’s demise or ultimate peace.” I can’t tell you how many times I have been in the middle of something, had no idea which direction to take, to fight it out or to let it go, and suddenly I’d be staring at a tattoo that gave me the answer as though it were brand new to my skin. Somewhat kooky and new age-y, I know, but my tattoos are a constant reminder to me that I live in my skin, and I am the only one that has to like it.

5. What’s your favorite feature?
Hmmm… I wanna say something extremely video ho like my ass (which is nice) or my boobs (which are spectacular). But I really like my lips. They’re small, but the bottom lip is slightly larger so my mouth is always drawn into a perpetual pout. And I love the beauty mark on my chin. The only thing I’ve never really liked about my mouth was my teeth, and now that I have braces, I know I’m gonna feel far less insecure and my mouth will probably a favorite feature for a good long time.

6. What is the one thing that unequivocably attracts you to a guy?
Are you asking me this because I won’t sleep with you? Lol I am undeniably attracted to swagger. But let’s get something straight; many people think swagger is an attitude, the ability to get attention. Swagger, to me, and is what is most attractive to me, is an intoxicating mixture of prescence and charm which COMMANDS attention from the very energy in a room, not seeks it out thru actions.

7. Lets get the dirty details of how you lost your virginity.
Lmao! Wow. Um… ok. I lost my virginity at 16 to First Love, after about 4 years of us being together. I don’t remember the date or anything like that. It might have been spring…? I think I remember having on long sleeves. Anywho, I was downright prudish through much of middle school and high school (which was ironic considering I dated the same boy and wasn’t having any sex but was still labeled a ho) and god bless that boy for being patient with me being so petrified of sex, lol. I barely remember how it happened either (damn I’m the worst), I just remember lots of kisses, me stepping away from him to peel off my clothes, and him making sure I really meant it and felt comfortable before anything happened. Most of the girls I knew in high school said their first times sucked, but mine was pretty damn good actually. I contribute it mostly to the fact that we had been together for so long; when it all fell into place, there were little to no inhibitions left between us. I remember thinking afterwards, “why the FUCK did I wait so long to do this?!?” and from that point on it was never an issue again, lol.

8. You’re 50 years old. What’s your life like?
Oooh another good one. I’d like to be retired. I’d like to have my school open by then and I’d like to be teaching and travelling. I wanna have my glass house down in Atlanta somewhere, a couple dogs. I’d like to be married, and have someone to have all of that with. I imagine myself being one of those impossibly stylish older women with an impeccably cut silver bob that always smells like Chanel #5, lol. Mostly, I’d like to be able to look back over my 50 years and smile, and be proud of it, and content with where I am, having satisfied all my youthful ambitions and free to live the rest of my years however the hell I see fit.

9. How many times have you truly been in love?
Wow you’re in my business worse than Jarrod, lol. I’ll not be specific and name names, but shockingly enough I truly think I’ve only been in love once. I have certainly loved the tiny contingency of men I decided to be in relationships with, but I think I’ve truly only been in love once.

10. If you could go back to any one ex who would it be and why?
DAMN!!!! Lol Sigh. I’d have to say that would have to be Almost Fiance. The good (and bad) thing about our breakup was that there was really no fundamental “wrong” with us; we simply just got involved under awful external cirumstances. We enjoyed each other, we supported each other, we loved each other, good and bad, we laughed together, we were good to and with one another. But life had different plans for us. He was a good boyfriend, he would’ve been a great husband and father to the kids we would have had, and I don’t doubt that we could have been reasonably happy. Hell, he’ll be an excellent husband and father to whoever he so chooses, because even with all his faults, he’s a good guy. (He will also, might I add, get married first, therefore owing me one of his paychecks as per the terms of our bet, lol) Of all my breakups, our was the one that was probably the least out of either of our control. Though I couldn’t see it at the time, life just happened to us in such a way that it was impossible to move forward with us. He set the bar pretty high for how I expect to be treated because even from thousands of miles away he was a better boyfriend to me than men I’d had in my face everyday. Because there was no real fault to find with us, I’d have to say he’d be the one I’d go back to, if I had to go back. Over the 5 years I’ve known him, I’ve watched him grow into the type of man his uncle would be proud of, and essentially, that’s all I ever really wanted.

*You get to plan your funeral. What is it like?
I like how you tried to slip this one in with a star like it’s a bonus question like I wouldn’t notice you got 11 questions in. You ain’t slick, lol. Anyway, I really want my funeral to be like a party. I, much like Jam, have never been particularly afriad of dying. I’ve always been more afraid of not living. To that end, I want my funeral to be a celebration of that mantra. No dark colors, no black, brown, or gray, none of it. There can be tears, but very few. I’d go as far as to say that I’d prefer to not have a church service, but I think that might just be too much for my fairly traditional mother. Ideally, I’d like it to be some cross between a dinner party and a bbq; classy but still comfortable, the way I fancy myself to be. I’d like to be creamated and I’d really like this entire process to be a weekend away for my family and friends #1 because I’d like to have my ashes scattered at sea and #2 because I’d like them to have a couple days to lean on each other before they go back to their lives, which is what I would want. I can’t decide if I’d prefer my ashes being scattered in Gulf Shores, where I spent many summers with my family or off the coast of Georgia since the state is such a large part of who I am. Hopefully, I’ll have many more years to decide. I’d want everyone to eat and drink and laugh and swap funny stories about how I was always falling off stuff, about me always threatening to beat bitches down, being stubborn, being sweet, being difficult, being sarcastic, just BEING. I’d like them to look back over my life and be proud that I lived my life exactly the way I wanted to without regrets or permission to do so from anyone. I think that’s part of the reason I’ve always been so “balls to the wall” about living life; if I died tomorrow I’d like someone to be able to look back over my life and say, “la did it. Even when she was scared, she was fearless and did it anyway.” I’d like to think that maybe someone would walk away from my funeral feeling uplifted by my life and charge back into their own with the same sheer force of will that I hope I will have lived my life with. Really, I just want it to be a celebration of who I was; I want it to be the people I love rejoicing in my accomplishments, my faults, and my character and knowing that even if they’re sad, it would not be serving my memory and the way I chose to live my life to wallow in the sadness of loss forever. Even if, by chance I am not creamated, I know what i’d like my headstone to read; “Absolutely no regrets.” And I want it to be true.

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