"Watch me Supersoak that Hoe" and Other Things that Crack La the Fuck Up

I had to compile a list of things that are thouroughly entertaining me these days…

1. Someone TELL ME they have seen Beyonce “try” and do the Soulja Boy. For those of you not southern savvy, that’s a dance that I had the “priviledge” to learn last time I was home. It was fun! Then again, I was “slightly” intoxicated so EVERYTHING was fun! But seriously though B, I love ya, God and Mama Tina both know it. But B, YOU’RE NOT HOOD. This shit made my month, lol. If you have not seen it, I demand you go to YouTube right this instant. Do some combo of the search phrases “Beyonce”, “Atl concert”, and “Soulja Boy” and watch your week instantly brighten.

2. The kids on the shoes with skates. Why? You may ask. Because they roll slap into glass doors and fall flat on their ass. And the glass makes the cool reverberating sound once they hit it. Genius.

3. Random text messages from long ago forgotten guys…
“I saw your facebook pics with your sis. Lookin’ good. Can’t wait to see you at homecoming…”
WHAT?!?! Lmaooooooo! Not that ‘…’ Can you make LD booty calls 2 months in advance? Lmao! Oh, boys.

4. IMing my friends. As you can tell from below post, we have some interesting convo. It’s a good way to keep in touch with my HU family now that we’re all so far flung. That’s why I’m glued to my sidekick all the time; not because I’m not listening, but because it’s my lifeline to my support system even when they’re not close.

5. TEDDY GRAHAMS!

6. Rhianna’s song “Breakin Dishes”. Just in case you weren’t sure what it’s about I present the chorus:

I’m breakin’ dishes
Off your head
All night, uh huh
I ain’t gone stop until I see police lights
Ima fight a man tonight

I dunno what is with these chicks spraying on their gangster. Includes such gems like, “I ain’t demented/well just a lil bit”, “I’m still waitin’/come through the door/I’m killing time, you know/Bleaching your clothes” and my personal favorite, “if you don’t come Ima huff and puff and blow this, blow this hoe…” Reka says that she don’t say hoe, but I say she does and I think it’s funnier that way. The whole song is utterly ridiculous, but it’s made more ridiculous by the fact that it is Rihanna that’s singing it. This chick can’t pull off a song like this. Kelis could sing a song like this. I could sing a song like this. Rih-rih? Notsomuch.

7. Speaking of Rihanna, are she and Chris Brown aware that they are singing two entirely different songs on the “Umbrella” remix? Granted, I hate to speak ill of Chris because I think I might have to put him on my list of youngsters that could get it, but seriously. Huh?

8. Reading over X’s list of things she wants to say to her customers. I’ve reread it at least 7 times and it still cracks me up.

9. The sound TI makes on “Respect this Hustle” when he’s imitating a Ferrari. Close second is “You Know What it Is” where he says all nonchalantly, “Youse a dead man walkin’ and I mean it, ok?” HA!

10. The beligerant black lady in the mall who cussed out the tiny white girl behind the counter for asking to see her ID for her credit card. “You didn’t ask that white lady in front of me for her goddamn credit card!!!” white girl’s response?
“Your card says ‘see ID’.”
Lmaoooooooo

11. Watching non-English speakers struggle to get out even the most basic sentence, but suddenly know how to argue over money.

12. The girl trying to give guy sexy backwards glance and running into a bench. Classic!

13. Watching Shia LaBoeuf in Transformers.

14. Driving through River Oaks doing 90 and blaring T.I.

15. Debating with my friends whether or not George Bush would be a different president if he was married to a black woman. (For the record, my money is on yes.)

16. Shani exclaiming Matt Damon could, “get it 6 ways to Sunday” in reference to the Bourne Ultimatum.

17. Having one of my gays tell me, “Those tattoos on your wrists are so damn sexy. If you had a dick I’d be giving you the business right now.” LMAO!!! Oh bless his heart. Isn’t that how it always goes? The one you want can never have a penis when you need it. Lol

And last but certainly not least…

18. Me tripping and falling down a flight of stairs dead in the middle of the mall. I’m pretty sure I broke something.

Oh well.

Hee đŸ™‚