Shamelessly stolen from Wise
1. I can cook my ass off.
I know, lots of people say this. But in my case, it’s true. I CAN COOK MY ASS OFF. I don’t get to cook as often as I like, but when I do it is never disappointing. Take for instance tonight; I made chicken breasts sauteed with white wine sauce and capers, whole grain rice, fresh salad. Seriously, I was mad when I got full. Anyone can cook if you read a recipe, yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I mean I cook like you’re going to eat it and go completely mute and deaf and then you’re pretty much guaranteed to fall asleep afterwards. I have said for the last couple years that I wanna learn how to make pasta from scratch so my goal is to learn before 07 is over. Who wants to be my guinea pig?
2. I am pocket sized.
I’m fairly short. And I like it. Yes, I wear tons of heels but that isn’t really so much about the addition of height as it is about making my ass look better. I hit puberty before everyone else so for awhile in grade school I towered over everyone else. And then puberty decided to hit me horizontally and chill on the vertical action. I’ve pretty much been the same height since 5th grade. Sure I have to climb on things to reach top cabinets, and yes I usually have to stand up on chairs to see the stage at concerts, but it’s cute on me.
3. I am a fountain of useless trivia.
When I was younger, I pretty much read anything that had words. Anything that looked or sounded interesting, I picked it up and read it. I am still the same way. Alot of times, I am doing nothing more on my sidekick than following link after link of random facts and news stories that seemed kinda out there. Because of it, I have millions of little utterly useless facts stored away somewhere in the recesses of my brain that serve no purpose until someone says something to which I can reply, “Did you know that sharks are the only animals in the world that can’t get sick? They’re immune to everything, from the common cold to cancer.”
4. I drive superfast.
Which sometimes, the passengers don’t like. In my defense, I generally try to keep it somewhere in the general proximity of the speed limit if someone is with me. If not, my speedometer is probably tipping somewhere dangerously close to 90. It feels weird when I do anything below 75 or 80 or so.
5. I have absolutely no tact.
But I’m working on it. Mostly though, I enjoy this aspect of my personality. I think in general, society has pretty much politically corrected itself to death. No one says what they mean anymore and if they do it’s some watered down version of the original so vague that it doesn’t mean anything anyway. Or, they use so many signifiers that it loses any and all authenticity. I’ve come to realize as I’ve gotten older than not so many people are well equipped to deal with my bluntness, so I’m trying to find a way to tone it down. Or at least, you know, stop cursing at work.
6. I’ll do anything once. (Just about.)
And yes I do mean JUST ABOUT ANYTHING. And alot of things, I’ve already done. Some of them I didn’t like so much, so they only got done that once. Some things I liked ALOT so they get done as often as the opportunity presents itself. But at least you know if I say I don’t like something, it’s not because I have some preconceived notion of what I should and shouldn’t like, it’s because I’ve probably already tried it and realized I’m not a fan.
You can take that however you’d like… 🙂
7. I am Daria.
Did anyone else love Daria? I was so heartbroken when that show went off air. If anyone wants to get me a Christmas present, convince MTV to release that on DVD then buy it for me, k? All jokes aside, Daria and I have the same dry, sarcastic humor. I realize that many mistake my jokes for me being really bitch, but I PROMISE I am kidding. (Except for that bitch in the one piece spandex ensemble today. THAT bitch needed to SIT DOWN.)Few people get my humor, but those who do think I’m hilarious. Those who don’t… well, fuck them. They don’t matter. (See? See the no tact thing?)
8. I am unnaturally attatched to music.
Seriously, my whole life feels thrown off if I go a day without listening to music. I’m always all over the radio and the internet looking for new music (Shouts out to my homie Nile over at You Heard That New who’s always hooking me up with my latest fix.) I wake up every morning singing a song. And it usually dictates my day. I love music. I have found myself so many times getting so wrapped up in a song that all of a sudden I am crying, or laughing outloud or otherwise completely ignoring my surroundings. Sometimes I’m so into a particular moment in a particular song that I’ll drive allll out of my way getting to my destination just so I can let the moment ride.
9. I am absurdly talented.
And no I don’t mean that nearly as conceited as it seems. I am blessed, abundantly. There isn’t too much that I can’t do. I am a pool of creative energy. I sing, I write, I dance, I act, I paint, I design clothes, I direct, I choreograph, design lights, compose. I can harmonize with very little effort, I pick up choreography faster than most, I can play just about anyone. I play piano by ear, I can write about anything. And I do it all WELL. Anything I haven’t done or don’t know how to do, I can pick up fast enough that you’ll soon forget I’ve never done it before. I don’t think it’s because of anything I’ve done so great; I’m just blessed.
10. I am nothing like I look.
I have been my greatest lesson in learning not to judge people because my inner workings are nothing like my outside adornment would suggest. Yes I wear designer jeans and expensive shoes, yes my purse is worth a small fortune and ok I put alot of effort into personal upkeep (hair, nails, skin, etc). But at heart, I’m pretty country and simple. If I could wear jeans and flip flops all year round, I would. If I could wear my hair in a ponytail everyday without it breaking off, I’d probably do that too. Yeah, I’ve been alot of places and seen alot of things, but my favorite place to be is in my daddy’s kitchen when he’s cooking or rolling around in the grass with my dog. My outward appearance stems from years of living in major cities and hanging out with queens, lol. I was just as soon throw on sweats and walk around barefoot in my yard. It’s funny because, to look at Joy and I, everyone assumes she’s this super spiritual Earth mother type, but I’m the one all into holistic healing and planes of energy, and all that other hippie stuff no one gives me credit for because I’m wearing $200 shades. I’ve taught me that you never know what a person is like and more often than not, the assumptions you’ve learned to make about tangible attributes are sometimes pretty far off.
So let’s see…
I’m gonna tag Jam. Why? Because she hates tags. And because I am gonna harass her mercilessly until she does it…
And Joy, cuz she’s my bestest…
And V because I don’t know you as well as I know all my other blogger family so you’ve gotta come up with some juicy ones…