MOTHER*&$#@!

Aiight, so anyone who’s been around my spot awhile knows that this is my least favorite time of year. I am not a holiday person. Usually, I’m pretty grumpy from around Halloween til the point where my first drink touches my lips on New Year’s Eve (shout out to the guy who bought me a personal bottle of champagne last year and LITERALLY put a straw in it for me!!!). It’s been a little better as I am not working retail this year and am not subjected to full on Christmas regalia around, oh Columbus Day or so (do people realize there are like 17 other holidays between the 4th of July and Christmas that just totally get played to the left a la Beyonce?) so that’s been a gift from The Woman Upstairs. But alas, my Holiday Dry Heaves have hit full force. Why?

Because I have NO CLUE as to what to get ANYBODY for effin’ Christmas.

I agonize for MONTHS about what to buy people for holidays and birthdays. I absolutely adore giving people presents. It’s part of the reason I am sometimes late with them; because before you ever even tear the ribbons off the box (and yes I am a BEAST with the wrapping) I have probably bought and exchanged NO LESS than 6 presents before settling on this last one. (I’m pretty sure Joy is the only person who recognizes this. I think everyone else just thinks I am a flake *shrug*) But they are always perfect. And I kinda pride myself on that.

Now while I don’t subscribe to this whole commercial ass holiday, much in the same vein that I dislike Valentines Day I do draw a great sense of joy from giving others presents I know they’ll love. Usually, I’ve had enough random conversations with people throughout the year to have picked up on little things they’ve mentioned liking or wanting. Because I pay attention to the little details, I usually know what I am getting everyone around September, October or so… which is when I try to do my xmas shopping so that I don’t have to deal with holiday mall traffic. This system as worked pretty well for me over the years; I don’t spend Black Friday in the mall huddled in a corner and sobbing because the crowds are too overwhelming, and everyone gets something that they want but mentioned so many months ago that they kinda forgot they even wanted it. They’re happy, I’m at home in the bed drinking and watching Friends on dvd. Everyone wins.

This year, notsomuch.

I got NOTHING. Not even for Joy who I ALWAYS have at least one good gift for. I can barely even stand how utterly ridiculous I am. lol

I’m at a loss. And it’s November. The end of the shit, no less. Meaning everyone is dangerously close to getting homemade cards because I refuse to even drive by a mall or shopping center. At least not if they don’t have a full bar inside whatever store I must visit. Otherwise, I just can’t cope. Online shopping? That’s an option. I’d still have to know what to get you though. See the cyclical nature of my tragedy? lol *sigh*

Oh and also, when you ask me what I want for Christmas and I say I don’t really know but you can get me a gift card and I’ll be happy, I’m NOT being an ass. I really do love gift cards. Like, alot. I like them much more that you buying me something I’ll hate. Plus, I NEVER know what I want. And the things I DO want, are waaaaay too expensive for me to be comfortable with someone else buying it for me. (I have SINCERE issues with people buying me things and spending money on me. To that end, remind me to tell you about a huge fight me and Almost Fiance had back in the day…) So, please stop giving me that “La I’ma Fuck You Up” look when I say that I’m totally ok with gift cards. Because I really am. I don’t find them impersonal or lacking thought. One of the greatest things I ever got for Christmas was a gift card to Target aka the Black Hole of my Paycheck. I was so happy I LITERALLY squealed.

So, the moral of the story is, I need all my friends and family to be more like Joy when I am at a loss for what to get them for Christmas…

*via text… *

I am COMPLETELY at a loss as to what to get you for xmas. What do you want?

I dunno.

*more texts*

I was gonna get you like 5 gift cards and arrange them all pretty in a bag, lol

I would LOVE that! (without an ounce of sarcasm) I was just gonna get you a Victoria’s Secret gift card so you wouldn’t have to worry about semi annual this year.

OMG! That’s PERFECT! (without an ounce of sarcasm)

And that, ladies and gentleman is why I would have her babies for her. I really need to finish that Friendaversay post that’s over a month late… but like the presents I buy, it’s never perfect until a lil while after the fact.

One thought on “MOTHER*&$#@!

  1. Mr.Slish said… Think Joy could get me one those Victoria secret gift cards too. I have fantasies that need a wardobe…lolNovember 21, 2007 4:41 PM the joy said… Mmm. How bout I give it to Lauren and ya’ll work that out? Meanwhile I have no idear what to get ANYONE either! Are hugs regiftable?November 21, 2007 8:56 PM jameil1922 said… you just really better be glad you posted. b/c i was just coming here to give you the what have you. sometimes i struggle but this year i am so ON IT w/the gifts!! can’t wait. don’t most people our age love gift cards?November 21, 2007 11:55 PM Chris said… Gift Card/Money in a Card King checking in. It’s always been easier for me to put paper in the person’s hands so THEY can get what they want and I won’t have to fear the “really, you SHOULDN’T have” look.November 22, 2007 10:34 PM Stacie von Kutieboots said… i thik i’m on it this year… i know what my sister wants, i know what i’m getting drew… wait.i’m not on it.but i love the christmas music!!November 23, 2007 7:48 AM Jarrod said… So with that being said…am I not getting a gift this year?November 23, 2007 8:41 AM X Factor said… “Its Christmas time in Hollis, Queens. Mama’s cookin chicken and collard greens.” Sorry, it was on the radio just now. I love giving gifts, I just have the worst time deciding exactly what to get. My final choices are always winners. Gotta get on my grind this year.November 23, 2007 12:08 PM jameil1922 said… i’ve done some research. seems november is not a good look for you. only 5 posts this month and 24 days have elapsed honey. 6 posts last november, 7 the november prior. let’s turn this around!! i need more than one post a week!!!!! GET TO WORK!!November 24, 2007 10:39 AM CNEL said… LoL @ J and her research.November 25, 2007 8:16 PM the joy said… I bet she has a chart somewhere on all of us. Tell the truth Jameil!November 25, 2007 10:33 PM La said… slish hahahaha I’ll see what I can do. THAT sounds like a damn good Christmas. *checking into that myself…*Joy I dunno if hugs are regiftable as they are a regenerating sorta thing. therefore, it isn’t a regift, in as much as an original gift intended soley for that individual, thus an acceptable gift. that sounded plausible, yes?chris thank you! its always SO much easier to either a. get them exactly what they want or to just let them go get it.stace don’t you bring that goddamn holiday cheer around my place.oh no jarrod you don’t count honey! I got your present MONTHS ago. its on its way. wait for it.x you wanna get my presents too? *convincing smile*jam are you kidding me with this stalking ass research? lolcnel don’t encourage her.November 26, 2007 1:08 AM DurtyMo said… This is why I’m puttin christmas giftin “to the left” this year. I can’t and I won’t. Nope.November 26, 2007 11:18 AM jameil1922 said… hahahahaha i’m a journalist biatches. i never tell my sources.November 27, 2007 8:59 AM

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