Cliff’s Notes

…of the things you should be aware of or that have been on my mind as of late.

1. It’s the holidays. I’m bitchy. Be entertained by it or get the hell on.

2. I had an amazing stroke of genius! I know what I’m getting everyone for Christmas! Woo! And it only took 2 migraines, alot of drinks and 1 sleepless night. Hell yeah bitches!

3. I’m looking for a second job. Which has kinda been good for my self esteem. Two places hired me on the spot in the middle of my interview, and countless more have contacted me back almost IMMEDIATELY to set up interviews. Who knew I was in such high demand?

4. It has been decided that this year’s annual birthday trip will be to… MIAMI!!! ohmigod. *shaking head at how utterly, completely and totally outta control my sister and I will most certainly be* It’ll be fantastic. It’ll be ridiculous. It’ll be more fun than we have all year… til my sister’s birthday in June. I can barely stand to think about how much trouble we can get into in Miami in one weekend. If you ain’t scared, you’re welcome to roll…

5. The gadget universe hates me. The Blackberry I’m in love with? It comes in red… but only on another service provider. *sigh* Why me?

6. There alot of songs with my name in them. 17 of them, at least.

7. You know how I own 8,492 pairs of shoes? Why is it that I DON’T own a pair of black boots? It is my mission to rectify this as soon as possible.

8. Yes sir, I’m aware I have a nice shape and I’m pretty well endowed. I don’t blame you for staring. I probably would too. It’s in your genes. I understand. HOWEVER, if you could not spill your coffee on the breasts that you are staring at, that would be spectacular.

9. I’m officially the only person stupid enough to still live in Houston. Mari and Ella packed up and vacated for NYC a few weeks ago. So I’m back to being a loser. *sigh*

10. I have 4,629 trips planned for next year. It’s making me quite hopeful that ’08 will be far better than the horrificness that has been ’07.

11. Why do people keep asking me for advice? Seriously. Um… has anyone SEEN my love life track record? And you KNOW that you don’t REALLY want me to tell you the truth. Just like I know you know that I just can’t and won’t coddle you. So WHY do you call me and put us both through this? WHY?!?

12. It’s funny how, while you’re all focused on how to do it in such a way that won’t create drama or trauma, the universe has a way of cutting off friends that you couldn’t yourself if you just hang back and let it happen.

13. I have GOT to start disclosing things to my friends consistently. I really lose track of who I tell what to, and then I just end up not saying anything at all for fear I’ll fuck it up.

14. There is nothing more disgusting in life that you purposely making your house look like the holiday section at Big Lots threw up on it. Oh wait… yes there is. Watching you, sweaty Mexican man with the beer gut hanging over your cloth belt and khakis, hang said decorations. *VOMIT*
15. Jam is the devil. On your haunches blog bully.