There are some moments in your life who’s details will never dull in your memory.
The first moment you realize you’re in love with someone.
The birth of a child.
That perfect first kiss.
The day you or your favoritest person gets married.
Your first night in your own place.
The moment you realize that you are watching Stevie Wonder from 13 rows back.
At the risk of sounding disgustingly dramatic, I am pretty sure last night changed my life. Sincerely. The man is a genius. And he’s silly. He’s superbly talented. He is utterly spectacular.
I really have no words for how amazing his show was last night. All I can say is that if he’s coming to a town near you, it’s worth the price of the ticket. Hands DOWN.
So, true to form, here are the things you need to know about last night presented in a hilarious and well written list.
1. Stevie Wonder is 114 years old. He’s been singing for the last 175 years. He performed straight, nonstop for 2 and a half hours. No choreography, no pyro or special effects, no bullshit. His voice is still as clear and crisp and strong as it was 207 years ago when he started his career. You silly bitches complaining about exhaustion and having issues with your voice? You should be dragged outside and beaten.
2. Anyone who can sing “Knockin’ the Boots” and make it sound like a song you’d want your kids to listen to is aiight with me. Ditto for “Bed” and “Rehab”.
3. My man stood up on the damn piano… and then JUMPED DOWN. WHAT?!?!?!?
4. Black people are the worst. You mean to tell me, kind sir, that not only were you 30 minutes late to the show, but you crawl over me, all in the middle of “Sir Duke” and then you have the nerve to be so big that you’re sitting in all of your chair and half of mine? And you’re drowned in Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue (a WOMAN’S perfume?!?!?) and then, THEN you mean to tell me I am supposed to excuse you being dressed like your wife… in a red jumpsuit?!? No mas.
5. You know you’re about to see a good show when you sit down and look over the stage and realize there are no huge elaborate sets, no pyro set ups, no abundance of props, no intricate backdrop, just a littering of instruments. Ahh yes, real talent.
6. Experiencing a historic occassion such as the first time in 25 years Mr. Wonder has toured makes everyone fast friends. We bonded with the chicks next to us. By then end of the show, random people who didn’t even know each other were dancing together in the aisles. It was a nice display of unity, even if temporary.
7. Have you ever been to a concert so damn good that the audience isn’t howling along except when requested? How many people do you know so damn talented that people won’t sing along? To that end….
8. You KNOW you’re working your ass off to give a good show when you’re sweating while sitting down and singing at a piano, as Stevie was.
9. I’m sorry sir, did you just do an entire 10 minute breakdown where your entire vocalization was inhaling and exhaling rhythmically and making it sound perfect? I. just. cant. take it.
10. Really? Really couple? You have on your eighth grade prom dress ma’am, and you, kind sir, have on a tuxedo… LITERALLY? I know, I know, they don’t let niggas go nowhere too often but I gotta tell ya… this is why.
At some point, I might attempt to come up with a post that discusses the show a little more in depth. But for right now, I am far too delirious and in shock that I actually saw Stevie Wonder live in a full length concert.
From 13 rows back 🙂