"You Know How I Know You’re Gay?" and Other Hilarious Randomness

Couple things…

1. Um… Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant?!??! I’m not even surprised. What I AM shocked about though, is why VH-1 doesn’t have a Spears family reality show in the works. Fuck I Love New York. THAT shit would be a HIT.

2. If I don’t see Beyonce anywhere doing anything else for the next 3 years it will do my heart good. I love me some BB, but damn. Stay home every once in awhile. Then again if I barely had a marketable personality and had spent the last 10 years in the business doing my best pinochio impression, I guess I’d need to make sure my ability to brand myself was through the roof too. But seriously? A cell phone? Perfume? Hair products you KNOW can’t be used on lacefronts? Two lines of foolish clothes designed by your country colorblind mama, anchored solely by a line of dresses that is bangin’? A DVD touting your Ailey knockoffs and Janet swagger jacking in a “freakum dress “as an “experience”? ( I swear if they add that phrase to the dictionary I am literally taking off for Canada.) A COUNTRY ALBUM?!?! Sit B. Sit. Good girl.

3. My daddy is cooking for me as soon as I hit the Georgia state line. I can almost feel how full and sleepy I’m gonna be. I’m not even gonna bother telling him I don’t eat red meat, cuz he never listens. It’s gonna be so fantastic though, lol.

4. You know how I know you’re gay? Because I’M looking at her ass and you are not only not looking, but it never even occurred to you to glance up as her gravity defying backside damn near overturned our table when she walked by. And because you can’t stop waxing poetic about a Destiny’s Child reunion or how fabulous Naomi is in her new Vuitton campaign.

5. Shh. The game is on. Why do I have to tell you this? You’re a BOY.

6. I’ve been having this pain in my wrists… maybe from all the texting? Meh. *picking up my phone*

7. There is no excuse for me to be trying to figure out how to spike my morning tea. None. Whatsoever.

But if there WERE, it would be that I am still kinda congested, lol

8. I need these to live. Oh, and these. Like, if I don’t own them soon, my life will cease to make sense.

9. I need another tattoo like I need a hole in my head… which I also want. Cuz I kinda want my nose pierced? And another thing… well, two other things…

10. About that Christmas party… what it must be like to get drunk on the dance floor, completely embarass yourself, and have no one to answer to on Monday morning. Oh, to not be a minority.

11 thoughts on “"You Know How I Know You’re Gay?" and Other Hilarious Randomness

  1. I.CANT.BREATHE.SHOES.TOO.BEAUTIFUL.FOR.WORDSYea..ma’ po’ B…working ha’ ASS off for to retire at 30…well..what can you do?? she’ll burn herself out eventually and we’ll be forced to listen to folk with 0 talent.Spears family are such trailer trash it would make hilarious t.v…drug addict sister..teenage mom..loser ass B.D..confused mom..yea..that ish would be funny

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  2. For some reason I thought Jamie Lynn was older. Not that it matters. Eh well.I almost made a similar post in regards to Beyonce. I just…can’t take her in large doses, which is all she seems to give out. And I’m still bitter over the original DC breakup.And <>bless you chile<>, on the piercings. Eeks!LOL @ the Christmas party. Ain’t it the truf!

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  3. Those shoes are like puppies in a window! I need to take them home and love them!Jameil how do you not like booties? Everyone likes booties! Maam how did you embarass yourself? Sigh. When I read jls was pregnant I laughed. Its funny to me!

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  4. I dunno <>WHY<> the world is gettin’ on like teenage pregnancy started and will end with Jamie Lynn Spears.Shiiid where I’m from it’s weird <>NOT<> to see that type’a shyt so as far as I’m concerned, they <>really<> need to knock it da hell off.LMAO @ your thoughts on Bey! And here I was thinking I was the <>only<> one who thought she was doing waaaaaayyyy to much!!If I could walk in anything above a flat [LOL] I’d prolly like those shoes too.Spiking tea <>early in the a.m.<> gurl…that’s wassup!! LOLOLOLOL

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  5. okay. that first pair of shoes has been added to my christmas list. and that gay dude? as you know, i know one of them. whew. and stop trying to spike your tea! damn shame! lol.

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  6. she said it was a “complete shock”… really? i thought everyone knew what sex led to. maybe brit needs to sit her down and let her know how her younguns got there. i’ve been saying b needs to give it a rest for at least a year. GIVE PEOPLE A CHACNE TO MISS YOU!! can’t stand dudes who don’t pay attention during the game. booties disgust me. if you must, do the latter.

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