1. Um… Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant?!??! I’m not even surprised. What I AM shocked about though, is why VH-1 doesn’t have a Spears family reality show in the works. Fuck I Love New York. THAT shit would be a HIT.
2. If I don’t see Beyonce anywhere doing anything else for the next 3 years it will do my heart good. I love me some BB, but damn. Stay home every once in awhile. Then again if I barely had a marketable personality and had spent the last 10 years in the business doing my best pinochio impression, I guess I’d need to make sure my ability to brand myself was through the roof too. But seriously? A cell phone? Perfume? Hair products you KNOW can’t be used on lacefronts? Two lines of foolish clothes designed by your country colorblind mama, anchored solely by a line of dresses that is bangin’? A DVD touting your Ailey knockoffs and Janet swagger jacking in a “freakum dress “as an “experience”? ( I swear if they add that phrase to the dictionary I am literally taking off for Canada.) A COUNTRY ALBUM?!?! Sit B. Sit. Good girl.
3. My daddy is cooking for me as soon as I hit the Georgia state line. I can almost feel how full and sleepy I’m gonna be. I’m not even gonna bother telling him I don’t eat red meat, cuz he never listens. It’s gonna be so fantastic though, lol.
4. You know how I know you’re gay? Because I’M looking at her ass and you are not only not looking, but it never even occurred to you to glance up as her gravity defying backside damn near overturned our table when she walked by. And because you can’t stop waxing poetic about a Destiny’s Child reunion or how fabulous Naomi is in her new Vuitton campaign.
5. Shh. The game is on. Why do I have to tell you this? You’re a BOY.
6. I’ve been having this pain in my wrists… maybe from all the texting? Meh. *picking up my phone*
7. There is no excuse for me to be trying to figure out how to spike my morning tea. None. Whatsoever.
But if there WERE, it would be that I am still kinda congested, lol
9. I need another tattoo like I need a hole in my head… which I also want. Cuz I kinda want my nose pierced? And another thing… well, two other things…
10. About that Christmas party… what it must be like to get drunk on the dance floor, completely embarass yourself, and have no one to answer to on Monday morning. Oh, to not be a minority.