SONOFA!!!

aka Jam wants me to shake. the. SHIT. outta her.

1. There’s only one Christmas movie I can stand and that’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the original, not the Jim Carey version. Actually, the Carey version ain’t so bad but I prefer the original.

2. I’ve only had a real Christmas tree once. I loved the smell so much that I made my mom keep it up til I graduated from high school in May. I was the only person with a graduation tree. I have no idea how it stayed alive and pine smelling so long. Call it a Christmas miracle.

3. Come Christmas of ’08 I BETTER be on somebody’s island somewhere.

4. The only people who get Christmas presents from me are usually Joy and whoever my significant other is at the time. For 2 reasons: #1 because these gifts are usually so extra and elaborate that I don’t feel like putting effort into anything else and #2 because history has taught me that they are the only 2 people who appreciate it

5. The best gift I’ve ever gotten was from Gay Husband sophmore year. He got me D&G Light Blue (my scent obsession at the time), a Christmas edition Winnie the Pooh (wearing a light blue sweater- sensing a theme?), and the best part… a first edition copy of The Velveteen Rabbit (my fav childhood book that my little brother destroyed)(who’s cover artwork was also light blue.)

6. I spent one Christmas Eve visiting my mother in the psych ward of a local hospital.

7. The only part of Christmas I look forward to is the food. Did I mention I like to eat? And I come from a long line of goddamn-I-can-cook-my-ass-off women. God bless us, every one.

8. I think I won’t like Christmas until I have kids. And I don’t wanna have kids. So…

9. The worst thing to have to do is work in retail during Christmas. I did it for 7 years. No mas.

10. I think little kids taking pictures with Santa is the cutest thing on earth.

11. However, I HATE when people dress their animals up in costume. Why is your dog dressed as Santa? He’s a DOG. Dog don’t need people clothes. They come with their own outfit. Its called FUR.

12. The Christmas lights? Notsomuch. I can’t stand the tacky multicolored, cross religious celebration in excessive lights. Nor can I tolerate when you try to get all trendy with the monochromatic lights. *vomit*

I’m not tagging anyone. You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.

12 thoughts on “SONOFA!!!

  1. Yeah, you’re right. If you weren’t ignorant and moody I’d think the aliens got you. And as far as your alleged big boobs I can neither deny nor confrim that I’ve seen them.

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  2. <><>The only part of Christmas I look forward to is the food. Did I mention I like to eat? And I come from a long line of goddamn-I-can-cook-my-ass-off women. God bless us, every one.The worst thing to have to do is work in retail during Christmas. I did it for 7 years. No mas.<><>you sound completely like my coworker. she said the only thing she was looking forward to this year was the food. lol. and OMG i worked at target and then at bath & body works on christmas and can you say nightmare? whew!my stupid self thought your blog was private. i was so sad. 😦 lol. i didn’t realize i was clicking on my old link to get to your page. lol.

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  3. Ms. Behaving, I’m glad SOMEBODY up in here is feeling your girl *high 5*Chris SO true. Stay tuned for my endzone dance later.Ah Jam, if I didn’t love ya *shaking my fist at you*b. good!!! THANK you. Christmas is for kids… New Year’s is for grown ups. We bottle poppin’!!!Ms. Lady now you know that’s supposed to be a family secret, lolJoy you know you loved my graduation tree. hahaha @ “Childhood trauma” You’re the worst. ‘Member how I was begging you to start having kids? Yeah, about that… lolCHRIS?!?!? LOL!!! Why is your mama a klepto? lolJarrod. Come on now. You been around long enough. You KNOW how ridiculous I am. I’m nothing if not consistent. It’s why you love me. That and the gratuitous drinking, quick wit and big boobs.Mo, only because it’s you will I tolerate all this disgusting holiday cheer you bringing up in my spot *kicking holiday cheer when you aren’t looking, walking away whistling with my hands behind my back*

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  4. *crackin the hell up* @ Dog come with their own outfit. It’s called fur. Chile! Happy Holidays and although I definitely understand you aint feeling Christmas I’m gonna smother you with all this holiday cheer I got. *hugz* lol!

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  5. #11 is funny…my mom got ana’s dog a little shirt that says “dear santa, let me explain” on it and whats funnier is how it was obtained…my mom walked out the store with it without payin first LOL. She was gonna go back and pay but my grandmother told her to just forget it…ah i love them lol

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  6. i remember #2! weird woman. i remember coming in like, really? still the tree?#6 i remember. #9 is the devil!!!!!! argh!!!!!#10 i think its the funniest when theyre scared of him. ah childhood trauma.

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