A to Z

aka I have nothing else to talk about, lol

Award: Oh God. You know how on Friends, Ross had an entire room full of trophies and plaques and awards and shit? That was totally me. Every certificate, award and ribbon you can think of, I have. Track, oratorical contests, dance, honor roll, basketball, volleyball, gymnastics, performance awards, departmental prizes, community service, certifications. Everything. It’s rather obnoxious actually.

And stop calling me a geek in your head.

Bikini: I’ve never worn a traditional bikini. Why you may ask? Cuz I have ASS. And this shit:


ain’t gonna work for the kid. Also, I’ve got a pretty impressive rack. So this:

is also a no-go. No way in the world that’s gonna hold down the home team. Usually my bikinis are more of the shorts (that still only cover the top part my ass and leave the bottom out just a lil) and a halter that I can tie.

Character: I always wanted to be Jean Grey growing up. Did she not seem like the world’s most fantastic bottom bitch? lol And then she had the nerve to transform into Phoenix? Son.

Dreams: Dreams have been the bain of my existence lately. I very rarely remember my dreams. The ones I do remember are usually in movie form and most of the time implies something that may happen in some shape or form in the future. They can be highly symbolic. Lately I’ve been dreaming some crazy things, people chasing me, killing me, taking me captive. There was one where the entire dream was me walking a series of mirror decorated hallways in the dark and each mirror I looked into was me at a different time in my life. The very last and biggest mirror I got to at the end of a particularly long hallway, I had no reflection. Then I lay down on the floor and went to sleep. Then there’s the one where I drown myself while reciting the lines to some random poem I can’t place.

river, river cold and deep/hold me now and let me sleep/death with you is
hardly more/than the little deaths before

(WTF is that from?!?!?) Except I don’t die. I become a fish, lol. But I’ve also had some good dreams too. The one where my grandma is in my dream house cooking and singing. The one where I lived in a tree and could fly. So it balances. I’m sure pretty soon we’ll see how the symbolism in these dreams plays out in real life

Eco-friendly: I read an article a couple years ago that stressed that being eco friendly didn’t have to involve some huge crazy lifestyle change like moving into a solar powered house and making your clothes out of wheat. It gave like an entire list of tiny insignificant changes you can make that make a huge difference. I recycle. I adjust the thermostat 1 degree. I unplug my phone chargers when my phone isn’t actually attached. I make sure I get regular maintenance done on my car. I bought a cloth bag to take with me to the grocery store. Even little tiny things like that can make a difference.

Fashion faux pas: Lord. I’d have to say my middle school years when I was channeling my inner chola more than anyone probably ever should. Think crunchy curly hair or bone straight black hair, brown lip liner and clear, silver, or gloss, heavy eyebrows, baggy jeans and tight tops, flannel shirts and combat boots. It wasn’t an everyday thing but Jesus it was enough. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Who’s glad there are no pictures? ME!!!!!

Goals: Taking over the world of course. I wanna be the best new age hippie feminist Renaissance woman my generation has ever seen

Hidden talents: hee hee. Well… there’s this thing I can do with my… WHAT?!?!? Fine. I read really fast. Like, almost disturbingly fast. I have been known to finish 500 page books in 2 hours or so. And while I am speed reading, I read and comprehend every single word. And not only that, I can recall in alarming detail pretty much every single book I’ve ever read, quotes and all.

Inspiration: People. I LOVE to people watch. It started innocently enough, with being nosy as a child, lol. As I got older and started studying acting, it became a really good tool for performance. I had a director once tell me, “Acting is the study of people.” And that simple philosophy has helped quite a bit both professionally and personally. I can read people better than most people I know. And my attention to detail is often a lifesaver.

Jokes: I’m funny.
If you get me.

Otherwise you’re just gonna think I’m a bitch, lol. A friend once referred to my humor as “dry intellectual sarcasm”. And I think that describes it pretty well. Think Daria but slightly more outrageous and snippy. (and by slightly I of course mean HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Keepsake: I’m pretty big on mementos, mostly cuz my memory sucks. I have 2 boxes; one for high school and one for college. They’re absolutely full of all my fav memories from that time. Typical stuff like pictures and programs but some random stuff too. The notebook Joy and I used to keep and write back and forth in. The ribbon from the first present First Love ever gave me. Pom poms from the assembly where I fell on my ass in front of the entire school in my cheerleading uniform. A handwritten note from my teacher telling me how great a writer I’d be one day. The pictures me and my sister took in the photo booth when I worked at MTV. Keys. Sash from homecoming court. So random. But they make me remember every single thing about those moments.

Liberal: I’m sure that’s one way to put it. Then again, there are still some conservative practices I hold on to. Changing my name. And um… well I’m sure there has to be some more. I AM still from the South.

Mom: Maybe one day I’ll be one.
Or else I’ll have alot of puppies.

Nudity: I’m comfortable with it in a contained setting, lol. Less is more I think. But I hardly see the use in clothes if I am walking around the house

Online surfing: I spend FAR too much time on the internet. Either at work or on my phone, I’m ALWAYS on. Even if I’m not surfing, I’m emailing or IMing. I read the news, shop, make plans, look up travel, read gossip, read your blogs, handle my finances, EVERYTHING alllll day long.

Perfection: I am such a perfectionist. It my defense, I don’t ever expect perfection from anyone else. I only demand it of myself. I actually really admire imperfection and flaws in most people. And I certainly don’t know what that’s like, lol

Query: All this does is remind me of something I do at work. And now I’m blue 😦

Reading: I love to read. Any and everything. I just finished The Five People you Meet in Heaven and I know I’m like 46 years behind everyone that read it a long time ago, but I really loved it. I need some book recommendations so that I’ll have something to do during my second job. Help me out!

Song: I refuse to pick a favorite song. It’s like picking a favorite child. It’s mean and impossible.

Trip: I’m all over it. I have NO LESS than 5 trip plots in rotation as we speak Traveling makes me feel at peace while simultaneously reinvigorating me for everyday life. Except for loser week. That BLOWS.

Ultimate indulgence: Food. And shoes. Right now I am craving cheese fries and these. I am obsessed with those shoes and need them to live.

Virgo: I have had nothing but bad luck and run ins with Virgos in my life at any capacity. I avoid them at all costs.

Workout: Every other day, at the very least 3xs a week. It usually ends up being about an hour to 2 hours.

Xtra: They just didn’t have a word that started with X huh? lol

Yuck!: summer in Houston. Ugh. I hate being cold but I LOATHE being hot. And here it’s all sticky and humid and gross. Not to mention I can’t do anything with my hair with it being natural and you KNOW that’s a no go, lol

Zen moments: Sleeping. Bubble baths a deux. Laying on the couch watching the Style network. Sleeping on my side of the bed. Eating. Drinking. Wearing my newly acquired fav red shirt. Being in the same room as joy. Driving in silence with the sunroof open. Cooking. Listening to my favorite laugh. Putting my cold feet on someone to warm up. Napping with Honey. Sundays.

8 thoughts on “A to Z

  1. Joy I was just about to say, chances are you will be in those pics too so I recommend you taking the stance of those pics not existing, lolJam you’re so dead inside, lol. That’s half of the enjoyment, being all close to someone in the tub. I’m not making my clothes outta wheat. I wouldn’t even know how to begin making a 4 inch hell outta straw, lolV I complain but my ass is still a neo. We’re enjoying getting to know each other. I’m afraid I’m not ready to give it up just yet, lolChris youre so MEAN! lolRJ hahahah youre such a dude. NOW you want one, lol. I’m sure if people realized I had seen half the things I’ve seen they would be extremely embarassed. But I always have good stories… which some people tell me I’m going to hell for because they dont GET me!!! lol

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  2. Bikini – Can I still request a picture? LOLInspiration – I’m a people watcher too. Sometimes I notice too much.Jokes – I’m funny, if you get me too. otherwise you’re gonna think I’m an asshole.

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  3. i was JUST about to say before joy stole the words… I KNOW she got some pics!! put her on blast joy! i can’t share a bath. i’m only 5’1 but there ain’t even enough room for me. i def. think you should try making your clothes out of wheat.

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  4. oh… there are a few pictures… but i love you and only those that wanna take the trip to my house and endure TONS of othere photo albums can see them. by then theyll be too busy laughing at me.

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