I Have a Headache…

…that I have had for 3 weeks.

I’m sitting at my desk at work and I can barely function. Even my eyeballs hurt. This is not a good look.
Apparently the rumor is that it is stress…?

*le sigh*

I need to sit and be still and not talk to anyone cuz I’m not so good at it.
But alas, I must go to the store and clean my house and wash one more load of laundry and go get my toes done and do my hair and pack because I am going out of town this weekend.

I need a drink.

I know you can’t take nail polish and shit on planes, but how do we feel about a couple miniature bottles stewardess airline hoe flight attendant? No. That’s cool.

I’ll just get fucked up before I get on the plane.
Will someone wake me up if I pass out in the airport?
(Not to self: do not wear skirt lest you pass out all sprawled and shit)

Why is everyone (but me) plotting on my hypothetical uteran invasion? I’m not feeling the baby tip. Please leave my feminine inner workings out of your conversation about the supposed inevitable female bearing of fruit. You want one? You have it. Ass.

I wish Hilary Clinton would shut the fuck up. No one is discriminating against you cuz you’re a woman. People aren’t voting for you because you’re a LIAR misspeaker. And because you’re an idiot. All that money and “experience” and paid spin doctors and shit… and all you can come up with is you “misspoke”? Fuck outta here. I’m not voting for you because doing so would be an insult to my intelligence. And your insistence in selfishly delaying the inevitable in order to show women that “you don’t quit when it gets hard” is bullshit. I’m not stupid. This isn’t feminism. It’s pride. Your ego won’t let you sit your middle class, Ivy League educated, elite ass down. Don’t feed me bullshit and call it feminism. Don’t lose a campaign because you foolishly thought you were the shoe-in candidate and now you refuse to let the colored man beat you. And don’t tell me that when you do stupid shit like “misspeak” or inject a couple million of your own money into your campaign or rail that you’re essentially the white folks candidate, and the media calls you on, it is sexism. Even if that was remotely true, I refuse to ignore the historic fabric of this country which we all know weaves into a subjugated and racist tapestry wherein there are more people here who’d prefer a white woman as president that a nigger.
Get real.

I need to take 6 pairs of shoes with me for 5 days. WHAT?!?!? I DO!!!! Stop judging me!!!

Is it wrong that I wanna do some tequila shots… just to lick the salt? Damn PMS.

I might be kinda cranky…?

I should probably take a nap before I tackle any of the stuff I have to do this evening. Picture me laid out Blanche DuBois style, curtains drawn, arm flung over my eyes and drink in hand.

Hey… that’s just my swag.

17 thoughts on “I Have a Headache…

  1. Hopefully you don’t have a headache anymore.You do, however — as requested — have a List to do.You’re welcome. šŸ™‚


  2. Clinton needs help. I think she is actually starting to believe her own lies. I really do. A drink sounds good. My new fave is amaretto, vodka, and orange juice. I need to start making moves right now to get one of those. Being assed out in a skirt at the airport is not a good look. I dont even think I would use that “come here and I will make juicy for you” as a pick up line. Thats a one way trip to getting a stiletto in the balls


  3. ” Don’t feed me bullshit and call it feminism.” – Absolutely love this sentence!!!!Only 6 pairs?! I say 10 is enough to be safe, and 15 is the equivalent of too fly. What too many?!


  4. If you buy liquids in the terminal you can take them on the plane. Go get you a half-pint of somethin strong and a bottle of cranberry juice and get right while waiting to board. Lol.LMAO@ uteran invasion. Last I checked, these fallopian tubes are registed to MOI!! Step back.


  5. “Why is everyone (but me) plotting on my hypothetical uteran invasion?”*crosses legs, secures with heavy duty chain and bike lock*Like, at least give me time to ENJOY being childless. Shit. Plottin’ mu*fu….


  6. Jam you are an asshole for that, lolJoy LMFAO! “vapors” get outta here!RJ you couldn’t possibly be trying to push me to go see one of those evil sadists that call themselves doctors, right? And hahaha @ the skirt. You are outta control. Mr Jones you are so generous. Yes we do have a date! Sunday brunch! Call me bitch!Diva surely 6 pairs of shoes are enough… for someone else. For me, I need 7, lolStace I couldn’t have said it better myself. And hahaha@ “burp her and put her down afterwards”. I said I was tired… not 2, lol


  7. hillary is/has been making a mockery of feminism. everyone knows white women are placed on pedestals…i forgot the rest of what i had to say. damn.someone get la a bottle. the kind with a rubber nipple and similac inside. burp and put her down afterwards, she is TIRED!


  8. You know what…a tightly rolled j would cure all these ills and more. I can help you with that, shawty. Oh, and I really can’t remember if you said we had a date this week or not. I checked my BB but got nothing. I can’t remember shit to save my life.


  9. LOL @ Jameil…A 3 week headache? Plans on getting that checked out anytime soon?Wear a skirt…I’ll wake you up, Blanche. LOLHilary needs to sit down somewhere.


  10. I imagine that your case of the vapors is what left you on your chaise, billowy gown and all, with said drink and dramatic arm movements, lol. Amen to hills. Do we need to protest her still being in the race? You know I’m good with signs and slogans.


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