…that I have had for 3 weeks.
I’m sitting at my desk at work and I can barely function. Even my eyeballs hurt. This is not a good look.
Apparently the rumor is that it is stress…?
I need to sit and be still and not talk to anyone cuz I’m not so good at it.
But alas, I must go to the store and clean my house and wash one more load of laundry and go get my toes done and do my hair and pack because I am going out of town this weekend.
I need a drink.
I know you can’t take nail polish and shit on planes, but how do we feel about a couple miniature bottles
stewardess airline hoe flight attendant? No. That’s cool.
I’ll just get fucked up before I get on the plane.
Will someone wake me up if I pass out in the airport?
(Not to self: do not wear skirt lest you pass out all sprawled and shit)
Why is everyone (but me) plotting on my hypothetical uteran invasion? I’m not feeling the baby tip. Please leave my feminine inner workings out of your conversation about the supposed inevitable female bearing of fruit. You want one? You have it. Ass.
I wish Hilary Clinton would shut the fuck up. No one is discriminating against you cuz you’re a woman. People aren’t voting for you because you’re a
LIAR misspeaker. And because you’re an idiot. All that money and “experience” and paid spin doctors and shit… and all you can come up with is you “misspoke”? Fuck outta here. I’m not voting for you because doing so would be an insult to my intelligence. And your insistence in selfishly delaying the inevitable in order to show women that “you don’t quit when it gets hard” is bullshit. I’m not stupid. This isn’t feminism. It’s pride. Your ego won’t let you sit your middle class, Ivy League educated, elite ass down. Don’t feed me bullshit and call it feminism. Don’t lose a campaign because you foolishly thought you were the shoe-in candidate and now you refuse to let the colored man beat you. And don’t tell me that when you do stupid shit like “misspeak” or inject a couple million of your own money into your campaign or rail that you’re essentially the white folks candidate, and the media calls you on, it is sexism. Even if that was remotely true, I refuse to ignore the historic fabric of this country which we all know weaves into a subjugated and racist tapestry wherein there are more people here who’d prefer a white woman as president that a nigger.
I need to take 6 pairs of shoes with me for 5 days. WHAT?!?!? I DO!!!! Stop judging me!!!
Is it wrong that I wanna do some tequila shots… just to lick the salt? Damn PMS.
I might be kinda cranky…?
I should probably take a nap before I tackle any of the stuff I have to do this evening. Picture me laid out Blanche DuBois style, curtains drawn, arm flung over my eyes and drink in hand.
Hey… that’s just my swag.