Who said Vanilla was Boring?

Ok real talk…

I’ve never really met a white boy that could get it on sight before. Not that they don’t exist, because I’m sure that they do, it’s just that I’ve met more goofy, All American, frat boy Zack Morris type white boys. Not far too sexy with undeniable swag white boys, which is what I tend to like in any man.
But then, fourscore and seven years ago, one of my favorite gay boys introduced me to this guy…

Jesus in the name of all things righteous and good.

Are you kidding me sir? How is it possible that he is not only disturbingly attractive but then he has the nerve to posess so much swag that surely he must have a black best friend. I mean come on! Look at this foolishness!!!


And then he goes and pulls this off…

The boy is even a cute nerd! wtf?!

And then the scruffy face?!?

Now granted, part of my fascination with Becks is because I think his wife is one of the fiercest women alive. I mean look at this hair.

Not to even mention the fact that in this picture she had on a de la Renta dress that I had been obsessed with since I saw it in Vogue and SIX INCH STILETTOS.
But really… this… this, this is just… I can’t. CAN.NOT.

I am so ashamed of the things I have thought of doing to this married man.

**leaving for confession**

24 thoughts on “Who said Vanilla was Boring?

  1. Me and dude just had this convo. I’ve never come across a white man double take worthy (I need swag as well!) Becks is nice in those last pics, but nah.


  2. @mia yes I shoulda specified. I am short, but also notsomuch with the tiny, lol. @jam hahaha you can’t have him!!!@V that’s jsut part of her mysterious nature, lol@Chris who cares about empty when you look like that in Armani underware? lol@Adei you know I’m actually notsomuch with metromen. But it’s just something about his sparkling highlights… lol@Desy I was considerng doing a year abroad in grad school in London… I would be lying if I said that Becks and his kind weren’t at least a tiny consideration.@X Isn’t he? I just kinda wanna stare at him… and other things…@Joy Gav has gotten hotter in his older daddy years. Before he just looked like a dirty heroin addict. Tattoos are hot on anyone. But you would first have to get him to stop wearing long sleeve everything, lol. I don’t even think I know what that boy’s wrists look like.@monie *GASP!!GASP!!GASP!!!* I heart him soooooo hard 🙂 And Ryan Reynolds. I could barely stand the sight of him after seeing the Amityville Horror *shudder*@mr Jones, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Chile don’t make me lay you OUT.@Blah oooh I forgot all about Halle’s baby daddy. Like she ain’t already got everything she need in this world, lol@Lady I almost DIED when I saw that Armani ad. Somebody hold my mule whilst I shout.


  3. This was all too funny! I was thinking the same thing when they unveiled that picture of Beckham. “Shawty is fine!!” OH JOY!!I like the fact that he’s well spoken, and he ain’t out here taring up sh**, acting all stupid. I never hear any craziness about him. He takes care of his woman and kids and keeps it moving. I like that white dude who was on Dancing with the stars… He danced with that Scary Spice chick and Laila Ali – Maksim, that’s his name. They must KNOW to pair him with the black women. I like a very dark White dude! LOL @ Southern Black Gal… that eminem phlegm stuff- you sound like you’ve thought that awhile about dude!! LOL!! You crack me up!


  4. La, you KNOW I love you dearly, but watch what you say about OPP. **flashes razor hidden in my cheek**I thought you’d see things my way.


  5. Oh, the nasty NASTY things I would do to that man.SUPER SIDE EYE @ Diva…Eminem??? Yuck much? Icky!I am strangely attracted to Ryan Gosling. Google him. I saw him in The Notebook and I fell in love. He has a weird egg head and a goofy smile but I dig him.


  6. Personally, I’m a Gavin rossdale girl myself. Since age 12, going strong. Becks is cute, but he’s a bit typical in the face. I do love his tattoos. If I could get Kesi to get that sleeve he wants I’d be overdone.


  7. Sorry… that noise you hear is the alarm beeping because I had to remove my oxygen mask to comment on this post…Jesus this man is beautiful. Just… beautiful.


  8. i appreciate him. not my type, but i respect the becks. i like metro men. to me, that’s uber confident. “yeah i’m a dude. yes these are gucci loafers. yes i use product in my hair, and?”


  9. Well, I’m <>not<> small, short-ish, yes, but small – not so much.In that vein I like a big ol’ apparatus of a man… something I can climb on!!I guess my thing is that I like black men with strength, close haircuts and a couple well placed tattoos – on white men the same qualities are almost militia-ish.Could be just me, though…


  10. @Shani you had a crush on John Edwards. You don’t count.@Duck *making room and handing you a rosary*@Diva, damn his airbrushed teeth. I barely even realized he HAD a mouth **looking down** Wait. You can get wit dirty ass trailer park Eminem but not Armani clad Becks? *blink*@Southern gal BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You are outta control, lol!!!@Jonzee OMG MCSTEAMY!!! How could I forget him? He’s so DISTRACTING on Grey’s! I spend most of his scenes trying to figure out how my tiny ass could effectively climb him…@mia I DO love big guys. That is probably my vice. Maybe cuz I’m small? Either way, I have frequently found myself muttering to myself, “Omg… he’s so… big!” in reference to a man I am eye molesting. But despite being tiny, Becks is HOT. Maybe its the tatts?


  11. “coughing up phlem and spitting on you” type nasty…<>*throwing away my chocolate/banana pudding jell-o snack*<>But seriously, while I doubt I would ever like him in person (he’s a bit petite for me – 5’11, 158 lbs and I like ’em big – 6’4, 220) he <>is<> hot.That’s why I have suddenly found myself going to random Galaxy games – I was even there the day he played his first match.What can I say, I’m a sucker for a man with a little stamina!


  12. *steps into the confession booth*Becks is too “metro” for me…but that dude who plays “McSteamy” on Grey’s Anatomy could surely get it anyway he wants it. But the real confession is I have a little crushy-crush on the slightly “doofball backpacky” white boys–Search, Mikey Rappaport. Now…don’t tell nobody.


  13. I respect the marriage vows but that is one white dude who can get it. Opinionated, I think Eminem is cute but he’s probably nasty in bed. I’m talking “coughing up phlem and spitting on you” type nasty.


  14. I’m with Shani…he does not do it for me.Also, I think his teeth are airbrushed in pictures. I saw him on Jimmie Kimmel recently…the teeth…need work!I’ve never dated a White guy either…but Eminem could get it!


  15. I just don’t get the Beckham obsession. He’s not my kind of white boy, were I *ahem* into them, lol. And while Victoria is AWESOME, Becks just seems so … empty.


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