In keeping with this week’s theme I present to you…
Because I come from a long line of they-can-do-that-but-you-can’t-cux-you’re-black-and-different-rules-apply rhetoric, there are certain things I won’t do with my co-workers, let alone at work. But there are many things that my co-workers will do… and therefore provide me limitless entertainment.
1. Sleeping with your boss.
And who’s your boss.
The Company has no fraternazation rules of any kind. I realized it at my orientation when we were going over corporate policies and practices and there was absolutely NOTHING in black and white concerning it. Especially in an operation like mine, where it is somewhat small and every department is essentially interdependent with another, it is bound to happen that someone meets someone they are attracted to. It happens everywhere. The foolishness comes in when there are no rules governing this attraction; i.e. it’s ok to sleep with anyone who works here. Even if they’re your boss. Even if they’re married and your relationship is endless fodder for lunch time chats (because this is high school). Anywhere else this kinda behavior would get you fired or transfered to a different division or at least a stern talking to from your superior. But nope. Here you are just laughed at because you two are the worst at hiding a relationship we’ve ever seen.
And because HE IS NOT LEAVING HIS WIFE.
2. Discussing with your co-workers how fucked up you were/are/gonna get.
This is a very common and often lively discussion that I hear around the building. Maybe cuz it’s Texas and the Texans do love their beer, but I was taught you keep your drunken antics out of the office
and off youtube. But here, getting drunk (wasted more accurately) is not only talked about in open, but it is celebrated. Exhibit A:
Co-Worker 1: What are you doing tonight?
Co-Worker 2: Tonight… I’m getting FUCKED UP.
CW 1: Hell yeah!
*high fives all around*
3. Calling out sick…
…because you’re hungover.
This is a common occurrence around these parts. It’s almost understood that the day after your birthday/holiday/court date, you are supposed to call out sick. WTF?!?! Just because a nigga found out Neek Neek wasn’t his, he gotta go get fucked up with his friends and co-workers and not come to work the next day? Veto.
4. Calling out sick…
…on the same day of the week, every week.
I can’t be the only person that noticed this. As a matter of fact, I know I’m not. But yet and still, despite this practice being common knowledge, there are plenty of people who “get sick” on the exact same day of every week. Come ON! At least don’t insult my intelligence.
5. Making gratuitous personal calls.
When your desk phone becomes an unwitting assistant in your pimps up, hoes down lifestyle, you gotta go. Unless you work for The Company, in which case no one cares because they have to discuss and plan how they’re going to accomplish #3.
I love my job 🙂
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