Random… Because I Have Everything and Nothing to Say

Joy tagged me on Facebook… but since I am rarely all that in depth with my Facebook–ing. I figured I would do it here. Plus, you know, I can’t bring myself to write about any of the substantial things I need to write about. Oh well, lol. Here are the rules…

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!

1. I am almost scarily clean. Clutter makes it harder for me to think and since my very existence depends on me being able to do just that and overdo it, I keep everything neat. But not just neat. We’re talking everything arranged in right angles or by height, or separated by color or type or shape or the order in which I use them. That’s right, I’m THAT guy. Bob is gonna hate living with me. 😦

2. When I was younger I wanted to be Jessica Rabbit… literally. and sometimes I still do. I wasn’t quite clear on why I couldn’t be a cartoon. And furthermore, I felt that if I really could be anything I wanted to be, then why WOULDN’T I pick the ultrahot redhead bombshell? All you kids who wanted to be a smurf, THAT was stupid.

3. I often make up words… and use them so often that I forget they are not in fact real words. I have had to retire my La-speak, and pull out my King’s English for job interviewing and such, and often I find myself wanting to say things like ‘skepty‘ which has become a shortened version of ‘skeptical’ in order to be joined with other words and phrases; i.e. ‘giving u the skepty eye’. I don’t think that my potential employees will find this practice an indication of my ability to think outside the box.

4. I didn’t get my license til I was 21. Mostly because when I was in high school, instead of getting my permit at 15 and then my license like everyone else, my mother had the bright idea to send me to defensive driving before I got mine. Which woulda been fine except we were broke. And I was taking 8 classes (2-3 of which were Honors or AP), in no less than 6 clubs and after school activities, and worked 2 jobs. When the hell was I gonna go?! Luckily I went to college in a city where a car wasn’t absolutely necessary, but to this day I maintain that “I want you to take defensive driving” is really just Hebrew for “I wanna know where you are at all times and this is the best way I know to control that.”

5. I skipped more class than should ever be allowed in both high school and college. So I see how well that whole thing above worked out for my mom. It all started my 10th grade year when I realized that I could get away with stuff because my teachers liked me and the coaches and resource officers patrolling the hallways in between classes always assumed I was in the hall for a legitimate reason. Pretty soon, I stopped going to classes I didn’t particularly wanna sit through, instead opting to go to the library, or go sit in on another class of a favorite teacher. In 11th grade, I was vice president of my class so I had the excuse that I was handling “class business”. And my boyfriend was a senior so we spent his senior skip day at his house. Senior year I all but stopped going to class except to take tests, instead opting to go pick up an extra dance class or voice lesson. Unfortunately for my professors, this trend continued throughout college, although I did go with a bit more frequency (when I had to).

6. I have excellent gaydar… now. Despite a number of high profile failings, one in particular, my gaydar is now the intuitive equivalent of a finely tuned Bentley. I am happy to report that since we worked out the last of the software kinks, I have yet to be wrong. I can pretty much pick a homo out anywhere… yes, even via blog. I see you niggas.

7. I used to be deathly afraid of hospitals. Like, to the point where I could only make it a few feet within the door without hyperventilating and passing out. Once, a friend of mine (also deathly afraid of hospitals) was in the hospital so I spent the night camped out on the grass beneath her room window, talking to her before her surgery.

8. I have semi good reason to fear that there is something very seriously wrong with my health… like, if I ignore it could possibly kill me. I refuse to go to the doctor.

9. I once had the opportunity to move to London a few years ago. I can’t believe I didn’t go. I think about it at least once a week and feel like shit because of it.

10. I am good… at everything. No bullshit. With the exception of parallel parking, which has thus far eluded me, even the things I don’t already somehow know how to do, I can pick up and master fairly quickly. I cook things I have never cooked before with no recipe, I can play most sports really well, I read superfast, a million other things that I do without trying and do well. You can feel free to hate me but…

11. I am deathly afraid of doing most of the things I really wanna do because I fear I might actually be as amazing as I think I am.

You don’t get it either, huh?

12. I secretly think I am Britney Spears. Ok… not in real life. But I have come to realize why I always cut her so much slack; I have lived a mostly tightly controlled, proper life. I have done and said all the things I am supposed to say and do, been the model student/leader/girlfriend/daughter that I was taught I was supposed to be. With a few notable exceptions, I have always been fairly responsible, and downright wise beyond my years.

And I am SO SICK of the shit.

I find myself wanting to rebel in all sorts of outrageous and extra and foolish ways, only because I haven’t before. You know those years everyone has where they spent all their time doing whatever they pleased, worrying little about the consequences, satisfying all their whims, living life, you know, just generally acting their age?
Yeah.
I’ve never had those.
And I fear my window to do so is closing swiftly. And so, to avoid having some kinda Britney style, head shaving meltdown or a hell of a mid-life, I feel like I should get all of those things out of my system that I haven’t truly done before. That being said…

13. Going to Madrid and Paris for my 16th birthday was one of the best moments of my life. Graduation was another. But this tops them both. Isn’t that sad?

14. I am OBSESSED with gadgets. I am always searching for the newer, better version of the thing I got a year ago that I absolutely HAD. TO. HAVE. Which is why I really need to work for Apple, ASAP.

15. I always make friends unless I am PMS-ing. I have no idea where I get it from, but I can make a friend pretty much anywhere. I am always talking to strangers. I didn’t so much get that memo as a kid that you were supposed to not talk to them. I especially love to make friends when I am travelling. People tell fellow travellers in the airport any damn thing, lol.

16. With the above being said, I am AWFUL at networking. Or at least I am in environments and at events where I am supposed to be networking. I hate it. It feels so forced and pretentious. Can’t I just keep the drink and lose the pretenses? Bah.

I ain’t tagging nobody, but if, like me, you are at a loss for anything substantial to write about (and if, also like me, you can’t seem to be able to finish this list), feel free to steal!