Secretly, Lady Lee is one of my favorite bloggers and a friend in my head. Don’t tell her though. Can’t have her throwing herself an Oldgirl parade in her own honor.
I read her blog regularly, even when she writes a novella, though I don’t always comment. Mostly because her entries are always making me think. And then, you know, my head is hurting, and I’m all confused and I just don’t quite make it around to posting a comment. So really, when you put it that way, it is her fault.
Be that as it may, quite some time ago, it must have been around late 2008-ish, Lee posted a series of questions on her blog that she had lifted from someone else’s blog, and I mentioned in her comments (back then I was capable of commenting) that I was going to answer said questions, though I was sure my answers would turn into a novel.
I promise I had every intention of answering them.
But I didn’t.
I read them. And they made me uncomfortable. I started to write, and I didn’t like the way I was sounding; my words a bit too raw, the syntax not nearly symphonic enough for me. So, I just left it alone. Saved my scraps and strings of semi-intelligent self summary in the drafts and ignored it. I thought about it from time to time, figured maybe it would do me some good to answer these questions I had not given myself time to answer, because I did not always want to know the answer. Sometimes I thought it would be a great way to pull me out of the writer’s block I had been experiencing. Other times I feared it would just send me spiraling deeper down into the depression I have been spiraling.
So they sat there.
I am looking at them now; they’re staring back at me from their spot in my drafts, deeply rooted in this five years I’ve been chronicling. I stick my tongue out at them and they don’t blink. I turn away and I can still feel them looking at me and wondering when I will get it together.
Me too, most days.
So, for the lack of anything else to write about (that’s a lie, by the way) today I thought, well, what if I answered them? What’s the worst that could happen?
Today we will find out.
(Answers down below…)