More often than not, if I have not blogged in a few days, I am over on tumblr acting an utter fool. You can find me there almost every day. And on the Twitter too, of course

With that out of the way…

People say that girls grow up to marry men like their daddies, be it who they actually are in their prescience or who they perceive them to be through their absence. My daddy was sort of in between; around, but deeply entrenched in that old school way of thinking that fathering means providing and therefore working more often than not. My daddy isn’t a bad guy. Really, he’s a simple guy; he’s worked the same, non-glamorous job for most of my life. He cooks better than every woman in your family. He has a great smile that has never needed the aid of braces, unlike his daughter. He’s not fancy, but he’s reliable and kind. And if this way of thinking is true, then I will likely grow up to marry a simple, hardworking guy, with a bit of an issue with emotional displays who is charming enough to talk his way into or out of anything.

I’ll take it.

Before we can get into why that is relevant, first you should go read this convo with very NSFW language. You need to go there and read it first, then come back here.

Don’t worry. I’ll wait.

All caught up? Great.

So first of all, let me say to the men…


Some women DO have insanely high standards. Some of them are looking for all things fly and flashy in man and miss the substance. Some women don’t recognize that what a man does for a living has little bearing on his ability to love you.
That’s all true.

But dream selling women on your monkey ass “potential”? There are exits in the front and rear of the cabin.

It has become such a popular refrain that I can almost sing it by heart, like a nursery rhyme. Damn near the worst thing anyone could have done is found out Michelle Obama gave the President a chance when he was just an intern with a hole in the floor of his car.

You lazy assholes have been using it as an excuse ever since.

Barack Obama being broke and in law school IS NOT THE SAME as you still living at home with your mom post 30 because you “invested” in an Escalade. You barely working 3 shifts a week down at the Piggly Wiggly IS NOT THE SAME as him being a student. You are not a BOSS. You are not “making moves”. Having a job does not equate to you “being out here grinding.” YOU’RE THIRTYFUCKINGFIVE. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A JOB.

Don’t try to guilt a woman into dating you giving it up off the strength of the “potential” she should see in you. God bless her and her premium Indian Remy, but fuck Beyoncé. I am not trying to upgrade NOBODY in these streets.

I am not a fancy person, despite all evidence to the contrary. Unless, of course, your definition of fancy is “speaks the King’s English and has no criminal record.” I come from a long line of hard working, simple people who have built long, satisfying lives without second homes or six figure cars. I don’t believe a man needs to have a gold embossed business card to make me happy, so spare me your baseless character slander. I am just very clear that being with someone while they work towards a tangible, finite goal, is not nearly the same as being with someone who wants a hero cookie because they can spell goal.

Have all the seats.

If you should be so lucky as to find a woman so gullible to want to be the one to reheat your cold chicken when you come home from your midnight shift at the gas station where your sole life aspiration in life is to clock out so you can go home and get high, then you should hold on to her. Hard.

‘Cause the rest of us out here? We ain’t buying it.

As you were.

10 thoughts on “Potential

  1. L.M.F.A.OOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i planned to write a post about this..but i just might have to create a title and drop this link in it and then pregnant bey mic drop.

    i am seriously so. far. gone. this is my 1st post of yours i've read and look forward to more!!!!

    *setups up royalties account.


  2. @mia I am pretty sure that potential is arabic for “aint doin' shit”. I need to research this. lol

    @Jazzy if not wanting to upgrade anyone is why we are single, then I am ok with that. lol

    @K. Welcome! You know, I am not entirely sure why people think that potential is the same is “unable to hold down a job”. But I am pretty sure that it's a fail. lol

    @Jesi21 ” and I hate mother fuckin raisins.” PREACH AND PRAISE!! lol

    @thoughts of a southern gal Ok so you have heard of men using the Michelle/Barack angle too? I wanted to make sure it wasn't just foolishness in my life, lol

    @AtruHollywood and This One Woman the fact that so many women can relate to this makes me feel both good and sad at the same time because it means I am not the only one that has heard this foolishness. lol


  3. La, I swear every time you write a post I say this is my favorite.

    The Barack Obama and Michele Obama “potential” story is so tired. I need to print this post out and hand it to every man I see.


  4. Borrowed words from Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat Pray Love) “I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and then I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”

    …and now Jess:
    mother fuck potential. Don't try to sell ME on your potential, sell yourSELF. I'll take the guy who believes in himself>the guy who neeeeeeeds me to believe in him. I prefer my dreams realized and not deferred and I hate mother fuckin raisins. So there.


  5. New reader checking in. You are F-ing hilarious but this post is the truth. Potential does not = chronically underemployed!


  6. I really hate the term “grinding”. Nobody seems to use it in the right context. But that's not the point of this post.

    lmao @ this…“God bless her and her premium Indian Remy, but fuck Beyoncé. I am not trying to upgrade NOBODY in these streets. “

    I'm not buying it either…#whyimsingle o_o


  7. Two things:

    1) Someone once told me that “potential” is just another way of saying “ain't doing shit”. Can't take potential to the bank and,

    2) I need this on a t-shirt: “I’m tired of upgrading. Upgrading niggas and handing them off to the next bitch.”


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