I am prideful. Sometimes foolishly so.

Because I am prideful, I am not particularly fond of having to depend on people. This can be just as detrimental to interpersonal relationships as you might think it is.

Because I don’t like depending on people, I don’t care for asking people for things. This, coupled with my outlandish pride, will, at best, make me do things the hard way. At worst, I will choose to go without rather than have to ask.

Especially if the person I have to depend on is one of those people that will forever guilt me about needing. Or who will never let me live down having requested something of them.

I can’t deal with that. I would much rather live under the mantra that if I can’t get it myself, I don’t need it.

This is foolish as fuck. And unrealistic. And not hardly how the world works. If I were smarter, I would say that maybe the universe continues to put me in this position I loathe so vehemently because I have not yet learned my lesson about my scorched earth policy for dealing with situations (such as the one I am in) that make me uncomfortable. To teach me that I do not have to slash and burn everything to punish them for their perceived slight. That if I set fire to everything, no matter how faulty, then it will also destroy the resources of my own imagined, self-sufficient island.

But I am not smart. I am prideful.

And I am about to do some stupid shit because of it.

2 thoughts on “Hubris

  1. So, La…we're really twins but I think I'm a few minutes older because I just learned this lesson and finally gave in to asking for help. I HATE asking for help. I especially hate people thinking that I am indebted to them as a result of seeking their help. In any case…we're not islands. Sometimes you have to ask. Be humble or be humbled. That's pretty much how it goes my love.


  2. you wrote this for me didn't you? as much as I tell myself that “this is foolish as fuck. & unrealistic” have I changed? Nope. have I asked for help? Nope. And right this very minute I am in the position I swore I'd never be in again.

    & me begging the Universe for a different lesson to learn doesn't seem to help much. Hmph.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s