Thinking Out Loud

It happens at the times I am usually least on guard for it.I’m over the most acute of it, the times when it would hit me unexpectedly and I'd have to stop in my tracks, my breath caught in my throat. When I'd need to talk myself through it, remind myself to stay present, in … Continue reading Thinking Out Loud

Push and Pull

He caught me at a weak moment and he knows it.I am tired- weary, really- worn down by scaling mountains of work and managing my bad decisions. So when he calls me and says he's in town and coming over and cooking, I know he only does so because he knows I don't have the … Continue reading Push and Pull

Back

The phone rings while I'm somewhere between sleeping and waking; I'm not asleep enough to sleep through the ring, but I am asleep enough to be confused by it.I reach for it blindly in the dark, mumbling a hello into my pillow. "You know what I was thinking?"His voice is so clear and so crisp he … Continue reading Back

Sister Circle

(It’s likely no coincidence I was finally inspired- after sitting on it for months- to complete this on today, my favorite Libra’s birthday.) I was once one of those girls. You know the ones. The ones who proudly proclaimed that they had no female friends. That girls “didn’t like” them. That I preferred the friendship of men, that … Continue reading Sister Circle

Growing Pains

(For Robyn. For me. And for You.)We've been dream sold about what it means to grow.All the self-help tomes and personal journey movies would have you think that growth is a thing that happens when you go to a beautiful place and watch a gorgeous sunset, the vastness of the earth’s marvels humbling you, making … Continue reading Growing Pains

Dirty 30

I was 25 before I finally admitted how fucking miserable I was. How the years of just surviving, of barely making it, of scraping by, had made me weary down to my bones. How badly the heartbreak had made me equal parts hard and fragile.The admission itself was hard. It felt like a spectacular failure; … Continue reading Dirty 30

Take the Box

It all goes in the box.The particular cadence of my name on his tongue. All the years of inside jokes and the steady stream of laughter. The signature curvature of his smile. The music we once traded across the distance. The way he likes his eggs.It all goes in the box.The comfortable tangle of my … Continue reading Take the Box

M-ssing

Something is missing.This is my last thought before I go to sleep. It hangs over the bed, turning the air around it crisp and cool. I toss and turn underneath it all night.Something is missing.This is my first thought when I wake up in the morning. My eyelashes have barely left their perch atop my … Continue reading M-ssing