Poles

I am living on extremes.

I’m either not spending any money or spending stupidly. I’m working out everyday and eating well or spending hundreds on takeout from my couch. Nothing bothers me or everything bothers me. I’m highly productive or I’ve done nothing at all. I’m feeling super social or sitting in absolute silence for days at a time. My house is spotless or it is in ruins. I am meticulously planning for my future or recklessly taking chances.

There’s never any in between.

Of all the things the pandemic seems like it’s stolen from me, my ability to find the balance I love so much seems like my most urgent casualty. I’m at the point where the only thing I can do is whatever I feel up to doing that day.

And I’m hoping that’s enough.