I have nothing to write about. At all. Well, that’s a lie. I have plenty I could say, but nothing I am particularly interested in sharing.Usually when this happens to me, it means that I am too overwhelmed with my offline life to discuss it in any semblance of an intelligent, witty or thoughtful way … Continue reading Without any Assistance or Guidance From Me
Remember how I turned 28 a couple months ago?Well, apparently you would be the only one.In the last few weeks, I have, loudly, confidently and quite wrongly, referred to myself as 27. In a couple different instances. In a few different ways and under a handful of different circumstances. But in all cases, the threading … Continue reading Early Onset Age Alzheimer’s or Also: Shouldn’t this Part be Over?
I am not much for holidays. Perhaps I lack that sentimental gene, or maybe I just don’t understand waiting for some arbitrary day to celebrate. But either way, I only look forward to the holidays that mean I will get to miss work. I am fond of New Year’s Eve, but only for the drunken … Continue reading Party of One
“I am tired of dating dreamers,” my friend sighs over the top of a champagne flute, clearly exasperated and a twinge depressed. In the interest of transparency I will admit I was well on my way to the bottom of a carafe of mimosas, so I wasn’t entirely sure I was hearing her correctly.“You’re tired … Continue reading Wait, you CAN Knock the Hustle?
If 2012 were a guy, it would be guy who tries to fuck on the first date.Not even like, guy-who-is-insanely-charming-and-hilarious-so-you-have-absolutely-no-recourse-BUT-to-end-the-date-with-your-panties-on-top-of-the-flat-screen. No, this is like barely-put-forth-an-effort-but-expect-you-to-give-it-up-because-he-brought-popcorn-AND-candy-at-the-movies guy. That is to say, 2012 is fucking me without preamble or pomp and circumstance. And I am not happy about it.As it stands, we are exactly 25 days into … Continue reading New Year, No Lube
Today's post title brought to you by the letter U for "undun" by The Roots which, if you have not bought it yet, means you are failing rapidly at life.I’ve spent the last couple of years trying valiantly to squash my natural proclivity for being impulsive and spontaneous, believing, however misguidedly, that such tempestuousness was indicative … Continue reading "Listen to my instincts and say fuck the rest…"
Thanks to Chris Rock, I know that it is the goal of every father to keep his daughter off the pole. But I have never been so convinced that I shoulda been a stripper in all my life.It started out as a joke among me and the girls, slowly escalating to various levels of ridiculousness. … Continue reading I Shoulda Been a Stripper
I am lucky to have older friends who reflect back to me that life in your twenties is not as life will be forever. Granted, that means that it won’t always be cool for you to split to Vegas on a random weekend, and do things that you wouldn’t dare tell even your friendly neighborhood … Continue reading The Metaphorical Ready
“The thing about control is that we never have any. Some of us are comforted by the idea that we maintain some control over things, but by submitting to the need to control, control is controlling you. Funny little paradox huh? Thought: that which we view as weak is our biggest fear. We act in … Continue reading This is a Story About Control
An anecdote so that you may come to understand how ridiculous my mother is…A couple years ago, she threw her then boyfriend a dinner party for his birthday. She’d gathered a large table of his friends, and was playing the role of doting girlfriend at a tucked away hipster restaurant known for its impressive wine … Continue reading About Being a Daughter