It feels ungrateful to admit how fucking exhausted I am. Because there was a time I prayed for the life I have now. When, deep in the throes of depression, I pleaded with whatever gods were listening to pull me from under the crushing weight of a job that wasn’t going anywhere, codependent relationships, inequitable … Continue reading Go for Broke
“Hey.” He says it on an exhale the way he always has; as though he’s been holding on to it, trapping it in his mouth, until it flings itself free into the space beyond his teeth. “Hi.” This is a game of chicken. One we always play. Him feeling me out, me refusing to be … Continue reading Daddy Lessons
I attract difficult women. Women who don't fit small hands or small plans. Who burn, incandescent with desire. Magic women. Warrior women. Women ill shaped to live in the residences of archaic ideas and grayscale archetypes. Women who are vermilion and canary and titian and cobalt. Who say the scary things and slay the dragons. … Continue reading Difficult Women
I often think about the moment I let you go. It wasn’t the moment we said goodbye. It was before that, a long, cold month before. We were talking, which we didn’t do much of anymore, but we’d fallen into the volley that was natural for us. We were laughing, and I was ignoring how … Continue reading Smile Even Though it’s Breaking…
Coming back to New Orleans is like walking the graveyard of all the women I used to be. Who I was when I was young and dumb and deliriously in love. When I was chasing my food with laxatives. When I was broke and struggling at a dead end job. Before the dark years. Before … Continue reading The Mausoleum
"Make a living or have a life, guess that I gotta choose..." We're doing the part I usually hate, but is actually going pretty well... kinda; trying to make future plans. After "Hey, you're in my city!" drinks turned into dinner, turned into more drinks, turned into cannolis, we're sitting in a tiny dive bar, oversized … Continue reading Here
This is the loneliest Christmas I've had in a long time.It's not foreign to me of course, having spent a significant number of years in exile from home, first self-imposed and then because the universe willed it for far longer than I preferred. I shrug off the familiarity of it, determined not to sink into … Continue reading What do the Lonely do at Christmas?
The truth is, you need an ordinary girl.You need someone beige. You need a girl who takes vitamins everyday and is in bed every night by 11pm no matter what. A girl that doesn't have a taste for whiskey and lights candles every time you make love and loves a "we." "We loved the movie." "We think … Continue reading Fine.
#NaBloPoMoEver since my auntie died, I've been obsessed with my family's recipes.Maybe two days after she passed, I tossed my entire apartment, dumping out every drawer and file, searching for the scrap of paper I'd scribbled her gumbo recipe on one random afternoon I'd called her to ask her for the steps. After every place I … Continue reading Cake
Here is one of the most ridiculous things about me.Whenever something good happens to me, I wait for everything to fall apart. And I don't just mean I think things will take a turn for the worst. I mean I wait for my life to flame out in spectacular fashion.When I paid my car off, I … Continue reading Danger