I often think about the moment I let you go. It wasn’t the moment we said goodbye. It was before that, a long, cold month before. We were talking, which we didn’t do much of anymore, but we’d fallen into the volley that was natural for us. We were laughing, and I was ignoring how … Continue reading Smile Even Though it’s Breaking…
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The Mausoleum
Coming back to New Orleans is like walking the graveyard of all the women I used to be. Who I was when I was young and dumb and deliriously in love. When I was chasing my food with laxatives. When I was broke and struggling at a dead end job. Before the dark years. Before … Continue reading The Mausoleum
Here
"Make a living or have a life, guess that I gotta choose..." We're doing the part I usually hate, but is actually going pretty well... kinda; trying to make future plans. After "Hey, you're in my city!" drinks turned into dinner, turned into more drinks, turned into cannolis, we're sitting in a tiny dive bar, oversized … Continue reading Here
What do the Lonely do at Christmas?
This is the loneliest Christmas I've had in a long time.It's not foreign to me of course, having spent a significant number of years in exile from home, first self-imposed and then because the universe willed it for far longer than I preferred. I shrug off the familiarity of it, determined not to sink into … Continue reading What do the Lonely do at Christmas?
Fine.
The truth is, you need an ordinary girl.You need someone beige. You need a girl who takes vitamins everyday and is in bed every night by 11pm no matter what. A girl that doesn't have a taste for whiskey and lights candles every time you make love and loves a "we." "We loved the movie." "We think … Continue reading Fine.
Cake
#NaBloPoMoEver since my auntie died, I've been obsessed with my family's recipes.Maybe two days after she passed, I tossed my entire apartment, dumping out every drawer and file, searching for the scrap of paper I'd scribbled her gumbo recipe on one random afternoon I'd called her to ask her for the steps. After every place I … Continue reading Cake
Danger
Here is one of the most ridiculous things about me.Whenever something good happens to me, I wait for everything to fall apart. And I don't just mean I think things will take a turn for the worst. I mean I wait for my life to flame out in spectacular fashion.When I paid my car off, I … Continue reading Danger
Lovers Rock
(The one where I try my hand at #NaBloPoMo and see if I can stick with it.)I come to bed, my hair still mildly damp and dripping down the thin material of my t-shirt. For a split second, I entertain the thought of wrapping it in a bun, but I know it's just going to … Continue reading Lovers Rock
Pussy in the Rafters
We've gotten so deep into the adulting that we mostly see each other on FaceTime (where I spend most of my time gossiping with his wife and fawning over his baby girls) and when one of us is passing through the other's city on the way to somewhere else. This time, he's laying over in … Continue reading Pussy in the Rafters
Lost.
No one ever says the words as I blindly scramble limp legged down the hallway, breathless and trembling, my nerves jangling like loose change. No one says it as they pass me through an obstacle course of smothering hugs, whispering things in my ears I'm too deaf with panic to hear. I have walked into … Continue reading Lost.
