I didn’t think I’d make it a year. But here I am, heartbroken, gutted, but alive. The details of your face have not dulled in my mind. I am still an expert in every crease and mole and curve. The tenor of your voice and the tinkle of your laugh still ring clear as bells … Continue reading 365
I often think about the moment I let you go. It wasn’t the moment we said goodbye. It was before that, a long, cold month before. We were talking, which we didn’t do much of anymore, but we’d fallen into the volley that was natural for us. We were laughing, and I was ignoring how … Continue reading Smile Even Though it’s Breaking…
This is the speech I would have given at my aunt's funeral, had I been in any position to stand or say words. Some many months ago- too many as it tends to go- I found myself at my aunt's house for an impromptu sleepover. I don't know how it fell into place, if she … Continue reading Time’s Up
Sometimes I watch the news from back home late at night. I wade through random snippets of videos and articles about a weave robbery and a soldier coming home, searching. Sometimes I'll walk by a TV and a headline will catch my eye and I'll stop and watch and won't even realize I'm holding my breath … Continue reading Gone
Coming back to New Orleans is like walking the graveyard of all the women I used to be. Who I was when I was young and dumb and deliriously in love. When I was chasing my food with laxatives. When I was broke and struggling at a dead end job. Before the dark years. Before … Continue reading The Mausoleum
"Make a living or have a life, guess that I gotta choose..." We're doing the part I usually hate, but is actually going pretty well... kinda; trying to make future plans. After "Hey, you're in my city!" drinks turned into dinner, turned into more drinks, turned into cannolis, we're sitting in a tiny dive bar, oversized … Continue reading Here
This is the loneliest Christmas I've had in a long time.It's not foreign to me of course, having spent a significant number of years in exile from home, first self-imposed and then because the universe willed it for far longer than I preferred. I shrug off the familiarity of it, determined not to sink into … Continue reading What do the Lonely do at Christmas?
The truth is, you need an ordinary girl.You need someone beige. You need a girl who takes vitamins everyday and is in bed every night by 11pm no matter what. A girl that doesn't have a taste for whiskey and lights candles every time you make love and loves a "we." "We loved the movie." "We think … Continue reading Fine.
#NaBloPoMoEver since my auntie died, I've been obsessed with my family's recipes.Maybe two days after she passed, I tossed my entire apartment, dumping out every drawer and file, searching for the scrap of paper I'd scribbled her gumbo recipe on one random afternoon I'd called her to ask her for the steps. After every place I … Continue reading Cake
Here is one of the most ridiculous things about me.Whenever something good happens to me, I wait for everything to fall apart. And I don't just mean I think things will take a turn for the worst. I mean I wait for my life to flame out in spectacular fashion.When I paid my car off, I … Continue reading Danger